Mother’s Day is only a week and a half away.  What’s your first reaction?  Hope your children remember?  Think of things you need to do like cleaning and cooking for that day?  Wish you could just skip the day entirely?  

I read an article from an online coach who talks about making the choice to be happy instead of expecting others to make us happy.  Then she went one step farther and suggested we provide for our own happiness on special days like birthdays, for instance.  She told of how she made plans to give herself a happy birthday.  She took the load off her husband to make her feel good by planning what she wanted and invited her husband to join her which he was happy to do.  I could see that it was better than putting expectations on her husband that he was unlikely to live up to.  But something was missing.

Expecting others to make us happy is a recipe for disappointment and strife.  But so is trying to make ourselves happy.  Insisting on plans whether our own or relying on others to plan will end up making us unhappy.  (Think Mother’s Day) Clutching ways to meet our own needs will leave us empty in the end.  Clinging desperately to things that make us happy will end up having the opposite outcome.  (Disclaimer:  I’m not saying we should never make a plan for a good time for ourselves.  Just saying we shouldn’t depend on the plan going well in order to be happy.)  Jesus told us that if we try to hang onto our life, we’ll lose it.  But if we give it up, we’ll find it.  Instead of being devoted to our own happiness, we should be devoted to God.  Spending our time and energy on pleasing God and serving others will give us what we crave- deep happiness, peace, love, contentment, and purpose to name a few. 
“If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for me, you will find it.”  Jesus in Matthew 10:39

Our culture teaches us to be earnest in self-care.  There is truth in this.  We do need to take care of our health, our mental state, and all our genuine needs.  But I think what’s missing from the current emphasis on self-care is God.  Are we taking care of ourselves so that we can take better care of those God has entrusted to us?  Or are we taking care of ourselves in a self-centered way?   Are we taking care of our health because our bodies are the temple of God’s Spirit and we want to be strong to do God’s will? Or are we taking care of our health because we want to look good and perform well in the view of others?  Are we looking to God for answers or are we looking within?   Are we devoting time to reading/listening to God’s Word or does reading/listening to the news or Facebook crowd out time with God?  Are we delighting in gathering regularly with other believers to worship and learn or have recreation, hobbies, sports, entertainment, or careers crowded out going to church? When our priorities are God-centered, instead of self-centered we are actually much happier.  
“blessed (happy) are all who hear the word of God and put it into practice.”  Jesus in Luke 11:28

 How can we apply the principles of serving God and others to Mother’s Day?  I think a good approach to Mother’s Day is to plan ways to make others happy.  Making others happy makes us happy.  For instance, if your adult sons or daughters need to visit their mother-in-law on Mother’s Day, be gracious and flexible about them visiting you.  Allow them to come on another day if it’s necessary.  Let’s not insist on having our own way.  Forcing our kids to appease us on Mother’s Day is self-defeating.  What good is pressuring them to ‘love’ us?!  Only willing love is genuine.  

Set aside time to build up other women this Mother’s Day.  Our own adult daughters are a great place to start.    We should be sure to encourage our daughters and daughters-in-law in their often difficult role as mothers.  Even if you don’t agree with their mothering approach, find something admirable about them and let them know you appreciate that.  Dwell on what is good about them, not on what they could do better.
“Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”  Philippians 4:8

Many of us are at the age to have grandchildren.  We can help our grandchildren honor their mothers with small gifts or cards.  Maybe you can help grandchildren make a gift for their mothers or take them shopping and let them pick a gift for their mom.  Teaching them to give at a young age will help them have a happy life.  
“You should remember the words of the Lord Jesus: ‘It is more blessed (more happy-making) to give than to receive.’ ”  Acts 20:35

This holiday may yield an opportunity to talk with grandchildren about their future hopes for their own families.  It’s never too early to plant seeds of desire to have a godly spouse and beloved children of their own.  Asking our granddaughters what they hope for when they grow up can help them develop goals and dreams of being good mothers themselves.  (Same goes for grandsons looking ahead to finding a good woman to mother his children.)  We shouldn’t shy away from suggesting godly values about dating and marriage.  Telling them stories about our mothers, who were their grandmothers will help them understand their family history.  Telling them funny stories of when their parent was a child will help them see that everyone was a child once.  Speaking with gratitude and love about our family helps them value family.  We don’t have to pretend that we had perfect mothers or that we were perfect mothers or that their mothers are perfect.  Admitting mistakes is honest and healthy.  Admitting fault opens the way for the healing of forgiveness.
“Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.”  James 5:16

Make it a point this holiday to encourage mothers you know. Mothers with young children could use some kind words.  They have a very demanding job.  Single moms especially need moral support.  Older women are specially equipped to commiserate with younger women because we’ve been where they are. Let’s be generous with kind words and actions.  Taking time to have a conversation with a tired mom can lift their spirits.  Find a reason to give them a genuine compliment.  Let them know that you appreciate what they do for their family.  Mention something good you noticed about her child.  Just let her know she’s noticed and heard.
 “Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.”  Philippians 2:4

What plans do you need to make for Mother’s Day to make others happy?