Easter afternoon promised to be quiet (ok, I admit it- lonely). We had already celebrated Easter early with one of our sons and his family, and the other adult kid who lives in our area needed to celebrate with a widowed in-law. We had resigned ourselves to a boring Easter afternoon after church. But a dear friend chose to include us in their family celebration. Mind you, they already had a houseful of five of their six adult kids and 13 grandkids! But they graciously made us part of their family for the afternoon. What a joy to sit around telling and listening to animal stories with a group of intelligent, respectful kids! Then we enjoyed some adult conversation around the big table, eating delicious food, followed by hiding some Easter baskets our friend lovingly filled for each individual child over the past months. Watching the kids search for and then eagerly look at each thoughtful/useful/fun gift in their own basket put a big smile on my face. We went home with full stomachs and hearts.

How many lonely people didn’t have a friend to include them on this special day? I’m proud of a daughter in another part of the state who opens her home and generously invites (or accepts) lonely people every holiday. Monday, the day after the meal and egg hunt, she called and remarked how many people her age are lonely. One single man had come to her house even though he didn’t know our daughter very well. He was just happy to be included in a group and not be alone on the holiday.  This got me thinking about how many lonely people there are in our society for many reasons: divorced, never married, childless, family living far away, social awkwardness after Covid, no church ties, working from home, health issues, being a foreigner, and lack of mobility, to name a few. We can just feel pity, or we can have compassion, which takes action. Our friends and our daughter are examples of doing what they could to give the lonely a happy celebration.

“The foreigner residing among you must be treated as your native-born. Love them as yourself, for you were foreigners in Egypt. I am the Lord your God.” Leviticus 19:34

We all can get better at noticing those who are alone or just need someone to facilitate them forming bonds within a loving group. (Couples can be lonely, too.) We may think we don’t have much to offer others, but it turns out that they aren’t looking for gourmet food or a meticulous house. They are looking for human companionship, a listening ear, a connection. They want to be seen and heard. Whether they recognize it or not, they want to be part of a group. They are tired of being invisible.

Speaking from the experiences of many years of being an outsider due to frequent moves, I can say with certainty that a simple invitation to join you for a meal in your home means the world to a lonely person. Don’t feel pressure to make an elaborate meal because your guest may feel they would have to perform to an equally high level if they invite you to their house. Cook something that frees you to enjoy their company from the time you greet them warmly at the door. Avoid meals that require a lot of prep immediately prior to eating unless you can include your guests in the prep. Choose meals that can be prepared before your guests arrive as much as possible. Be sure to ask ahead of time if there are any food allergies. This matters! It’s also good to ask if there are foods that your guest doesn’t like. They may not be allergic, but they wouldn’t enjoy the food. Believe it or not, some folks don’t like chocolate! My saying is, ‘If it isn’t chocolate, it isn’t dessert,’ but not everyone agrees. Who can you invite who is new to your neighborhood or church who just needs connection?

Don’t be afraid to talk about their hard things. Give your guests an opportunity to bare their hearts, but don’t push. Ask questions that open doors and let them choose which doors to open to you. Skirting hard discussions can send the message that you are afraid of their issues. But being willing to talk about- mostly listen to the hard things shows your solidarity with them in their troubles. Who has a burden that you could come alongside and lighten their load a little?

Don’t be afraid to invite guests who are younger or older than you. When we were young newlyweds, dear Husband was going to classes in the mornings and working in the afternoons. I had to resign from a job I enjoyed because of pregnancy complications. Our finances were tight, as was Husband’s schedule and I found myself home alone and often sick. How I looked forward to going to an elderly woman’s home after church for Sunday dinner! We affectionately called her Grandma Illika. In her eighties and nearly blind, she had every excuse to take it easy on Sunday afternoons. Yet she saw a struggling young mom-to-be and made sure that one day a week there was food and companionship for her and her overworked husband. Here it is fifty years later, and I still remember her selfless love and care. What young person can you include in your life?

Hospitality isn’t the only means of reaching out to the lonely. A phone call or even a text can brighten someone’s day. A card or a small gift sends the message that they are not forgotten. And repeat calls and texts prove they are being remembered for the long haul. And an in-person visit to a sick person is gold!  Although we are fairly recent newcomers to our church, when dear Husband was knocked down by whatever the virus is that has hit so many of us this flu season, several men called regularly to check on him and cheer him up. It was only the flu, but those calls meant so much and brightened his long, boring days immeasureably when he wasn’t able to be busy. Who could you cheer up this week?

Remember that our kindness is noticed and rewarded by God and we do reap what we sow. After all, Boaz an older man without a wife and children, showed mercy to a single, foreign woman who was in a hard place. In the end, he received a loving wife and children as a result of his kindness. (Read the love story in the Book of Ruth.)

“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the creation of the world. For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.’
“Then these righteous ones will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing? When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you?’
“And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’” Jesus in Matthew 25:43-40

I created all images using Ai.