We have hit the six-month mark of living in our RV trailer while my husband builds our little retirement house 3,000 miles from our last house. Another 6 months or more to go. The first four months we were privileged to park our trailer in our daughter’s yard. She spoiled us by sharing one of her bathrooms with us and being the best neighbor. It was a very special time of bonding with her, her husband, and her daughters, our granddaughters. We wouldn’t trade that time for anything.
At the end of four months, our trailer was towed to our property where the building work began in earnest.
So convenient to have a place to get out of the sun, eat, use the bathroom and break up the long days of working! We started getting much more done.
So what have we learned during these six months of living like sojourners in a small space mostly just with each other 24/7?
I’ve learned that I don’t need nearly as much as I was accustomed to. Our closet is small and our shelves are few, but we always have clothes to wear. Our bedroom is only big enough for a bed and a small space to maneuver into bed, but we sleep well. We have only a sofa, but my husband can get his feet up and relax. Our kitchen is tiny and inconvenient, but we eat well.
I’ve been reminded that relationships are what matter most. In comparison, stuff is a minor detail. Investing in friendships- in the family and also friends brings high yields. We gave up ease when we sold our house and moved across the country to be close to family, but we have the comfort of knowing we chose the important thing. At the end of the day, we rest in the fact that we are being obedient to the calling God gave us – to be grandparents in this season of our lives. We can’t be close to all our grandkids, but we can do our best with the ones in this area.
I’ve learned that my husband can’t meet all my needs and that doesn’t make him the enemy. I can cheer him on, do the everyday things that contribute to his well-being, and not be resentful when there’s no time for help with my projects.
I’ve learned that new friends are treasures given to us by the Lord at just the right time. It does seem lopsided right now since they help us in so many big and small ways and we struggle to return their favors. But I keep asking myself what I can do for them and sometimes I get the joy of contributing something to their lives.
I’ve learned that old friends are always on our side and distance and time cannot extinguish friendship.
I’ve learned that church is our lifeline. I can’t imagine a week without the spiritual lift of going to church. One of the first things we did was to find a church that teaches the Bible clearly and worships wholeheartedly. When we are weary climbing our big obstacles, we find refreshment at church. We get a bi-weekly spiritual reset by taking inventory and correcting course. We find unselfish, generous people who befriend us and do life with us. We don’t yet know what our part is in this diverse, sometimes messy group of people we call our church, but we have confidence God will make it clear.
I’ve learned that God provides in our (daily) time of need, sometimes even before we call for help. I’m getting used to daily miracles. Someone shows up just when we can’t possibly do a task alone. A needed appliance is on clearance in a store we almost never frequent, but happened to drop by on another errand. A new, in the crate woodstove doesn’t fit the owner’s home and he sells it to us at half price. After asking (actually begging) several contractors, a local contractor accepts the job we couldn’t do and is able to come the exact day we need him. A friend shares her garden bounty just before unexpected guests need to be fed.
I’ve learned that some teenagers are an antidote for what ails you. How much I’m enjoying our soon-to-be-fourteen granddaughter as we work together, shop together, and cook together. Laughter makes a special bond and we indulge in it often. A teenage boy willingly (!) comes over to work with Jack or me. There’s something a young person has to offer my older generation and I revel in that. And it helps me forget my sore neck and back from that cramped kitchen!
I’m learning not to feel guilty or hurt that my husband and I can’t work together. My default is to help, but I know that often I’m not really being helpful when I think I am. Our giftings and interests are poles apart, but that turns out to make a complete sphere just like our planet. Sameness isn’t oneness and diversity isn’t disunity. I’m learning to find my own work in this new location and take pleasure in my own path while appreciating and supporting him in his work. We can be a team without working together on the same project.
I’ve learned that planting a little patch of grass and a rag-tag garden makes me feel like I’m home.
I’ve learned that just because all of us are family doesn’t mean we understand each other. But it does mean that God put us together to mutually help each other and that’s beautiful. Respect and deference go a long way. Communication is necessary, but I stink at it because I hate confrontation or the risk of it. I know old dogs can learn new tricks and God isn’t finished with me yet. This wimp can learn to be brave.
I’ve learned that with God’s help I can push past my fears. There’s a new outbuilding that I look out at from our RV kitchen window. It’s wearing a lovely coat of new paint. In order to get that paint on the upper parts of it, I had to stand on a ladder which is to say, I had to move way out of my comfort zone. Facing my fear by trusting God and putting one foot in front of the other- or in this case, putting one foot above the other brings reward.
I’ve learned that bad posture can cripple you. I’ve learned that my outlook affects my posture and my posture affects my outlook. If I allow negative thinking such as insecurity or pain to steal my energy, bad posture results. I’ve also found it works the other way- if I remind myself to improve my posture, I feel better physically and mentally. (Our trailer kitchen sink doesn’t have a toe kick and it does have cupboards that hang over the sink at head height which can lead to pretty awkward body positions which lead to back and neck pain.) I’ve learned that a good massage therapist is a gift from God especially when she gently reminds me to stand up straight.
I’ve learned that a small space disciplines me to get rid of or store all but daily necessities and put those out of sight if possible. Clutter + small = chaos. I’m still learning this one. It takes daily vigilance. One or two days of slacking and I’ve got piles again. Books and papers are my biggest challenge. I’m learning to be ruthless in clearing away, especially after watching a hoarders TV episode!
Moving gave us a new start this year. Such an opportunity to learn, grow, and change! But you don’t have to move across the country to get a new start. Each new day is a new opportunity for change and growth. May we all reach out in faith and confidence to take hold of everything God offers us.
following your well trodden path. thank you for this one.
We’re all meant to do life together!