Think of some happy childhood memories. Holidays, birthdays, vacations, playing outside, family meals, reading favorite books, visiting grandparents, going to a friend’s house. Some of these happy memories have something in common. Without this ingredient, the happy times wouldn’t have happened. Think of the memories that involve a group of people that included those who weren’t in your household. Where did you gather? Who provided the food? Hospitality probably played a role in many of your happy memories. Hospitality brings people together. And it takes many forms.
Hospitality to family
Our responsibility is to our family first. We serve our family by providing for their needs. One of their needs is feeling loved. One way to show love is to feed them! This starts with feeding our children when they’re little, of course. But I don’t think they ever outgrow coming to mom and dad’s house for a meal. And there’s just no place like Grandma and Grandpa’s house! And then there’s holidays. Think back to a happy holiday memory. Chances are that more than just your parents and siblings were present. Perhaps grandparents, aunts and uncles, or guests. Someone provided the place and the food. And everyone benefitted- especially those who contributed. Don’t think you have to do it all! When I was having health issues, we still wanted our kids to visit. Our oldest son was so generous that he brought the entire meal when he and his wife came so I didn’t have to cook. Hospitality is about an open heart and an open home, not about being an impressive hostess. Do what you can. Simplify and ask for help. But don’t neglect having family over.
Hospitality to other believers
When we lived in the middle of a vast jungle in a forgotten part of the world, I learned that getting together with others for meals and fellowship refreshed us. The oppressive pressures of the heat and humidity, the isolation, the poverty, the suffering and diseases we saw and experienced, and the separation from loved ones all wore us down. But giving and sometimes receiving hospitality lightened our load for a few hours and deepened friendships that carried us through difficulties.
“The generous will prosper; those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed. Proverbs 11:25
Everyone struggles sometimes. Your home can be an oasis for someone experiencing a rough patch. If you listen, you’ll catch something someone says that gives away the fact that they’re hurting. Not always, but often an invitation can ease their pain even if it’s only for a few hours. I can think of two dear friends (couples) who have been an oasis for us over the years. Just walking in their door lifted a weight from our hearts. The catch is this: hurting people don’t consult our schedules. We may have to set aside something we had planned on doing in order to be available when someone needs us. It will make a big difference for them and it will bless us, too. I do know that not scheduling my days full and penciling in time for others every week gives me wiggle room to get my work done and be available. That way I have time to devote to having others over without pressure.
“When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality.” Romans 12:13
“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling.” 1 Peter 4:8-10
Hospitality to foreigners and strangers
I’ve already written about our wonderful privilege of showing hospitality to a group of international students and the multiplied blessings that has brought us here.
“Don’t forget to show hospitality to strangers, for some who have done this have entertained angels without realizing it!” Hebrews 13:2
Hospitality to those who can’t repay
I think hospitality shown to children falls into this category. They can’t pay us back but many children need an open door where they can be nurtured. I was the recipient of this kind of hospitality from my best friend’s mother. How I loved going home after school with my friend to a big, happy family instead of being alone in our tiny apartment till evening when my hard-working mother could get home. When we had children, I tried to keep an open door to our kids’ friends. 
I think hospitality to the hurting, whether physically or emotionally, and the lonely is also especially blessed. I well remember being invited to family gatherings of people in our church when we were students far away from our own families. We couldn’t repay them by asking them to our little place with only three chairs at our table. But I think their example made me want to pay it forward, so we invited students who had even less than we did to our place. We couldn’t afford to feed all of them, but there was a dairy nearby that sold whole milk very cheap, so we served homemade ice cream outside while the students sat on the porch- not in chairs, literally on the concrete porch. There are people who need your hospitality even if you don’t have much to share except your heart and a place to gather and rest.
“When you put on a luncheon or a banquet,” he said, “don’t invite your friends, brothers, relatives, and rich neighbors. For they will invite you back, and that will be your only reward. Instead, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, and the blind. Then at the resurrection of the righteous, God will reward you for inviting those who could not repay you.” Luke 14:12-14
Creative hospitality 
If you feel that you can’t handle a big family in your house, invite them over for an outdoor BBQ. They probably don’t get invited by many others and they’ll appreciate it so much. Take time to listen to their kids and show an interest in their interests. We all know parenting is hard work, so let’s refresh parents when we can.
If you excuse yourself from hospitality because you’re insecure about cooking, have someone who is new to your church or community over for dessert and buy it from the bakery. Or Invite someone for coffee who needs some encouragement and friendship. The point is to give love and a listening ear.
If you’re insecure about your house, or on the other hand, if your nice house would intimidate your lower-income guests, invite them to join you for a picnic at a park and let them bring something so they feel they’re contributing. Listen and let them know you’re on their side.
If you feel inadequate to host foreigners, remember that what they need most is friendship. Just ask questions about their experiences in this new country and listen for what you can help with. Show an interest in their home country. You’re their link to understanding their new home. If they have the resources, ask them to bring a dish from their home country. If your foreign guests are able, they might invite you to their house. Accept. And be brave and eat whatever they prepare for you. We’ve discovered some of the best foods this way! And they will feel honored.
Remember, the purpose of your hospitality isn’t to impress, or to be repaid. The reason you’re inviting others is to meet their need and make a deeper friendship. Your guests aren’t grading your performance, they want to know you care about them.
Who can you love on by inviting them to your table?