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Our little church is doing a renovation of the sanctuary. The building is 72 years old, and it was time for repairing, updating, and beautifying the place where we gather. It’s been such a good lesson for me as I participated with many others in this project. Whew! Have I been slapped up the side of the head with my own pride in places where I didn’t even know it lurked!  I’ve had to look in the mirror often in the last month. Whoa! Not Pretty! I’ve learned so much by being involved in a project with hard-working, gracious, and talented people.

I’ve learned that it takes humility and self-control to defer to others. We’ve all had that person who keeps repeating their opinion even when the other team members have decided on something different. I was getting irritated with the opinionated one, so the Lord had to bring me a mirror. Another decision needed to be made, and I immediately had an opinion. (Surprise!) However, it soon became obvious that others didn’t hold the same opinion. I started to dig in my heels and gather arguments on my behalf. Suddenly, I remembered how annoying it was to have a team member who clings to their own ideas. Yikes! I didn’t want to be that person! So I deferred. It was a relief not to have to fight for/prove my opinion. Deference honors others more than my opinion. What have you dug in your heels about that isn’t contributing to harmony?

I’ve learned the blessed importance of having a leader who is a listener and a doer. It takes a leader to settle issues with strength and fairness. This brings peace to the team. And leading by his example of hard work and commitment stimulates us all to also work hard. Because he has a plan, each of us knows how to move forward. Happily submitting to his decisions keeps unity and brings a faster completion of the project. Is there someone in authority over you that you begrudge submission to?

I’m learning patience with others, with myself, and the situation. The solution isn’t necessarily the first thing we try. I’ve had to accept that there are dead-ends, and small steps toward getting a good result. Along the way, each of us will stumble. Every time I start berating myself for not finding the answer, I try to remind myself that it takes a team and it takes time. Have I asked for help? Have I accepted that some answers take time in coming after several unsuccessful tries? Have I admitted/accepted limitations such as those I depend on can’t always be available, and I don’t have the physical wherewithal to do all I want to do. Am I at peace with the fact that the answer may be elusive and complicated? All this requires patience. What do you need God’s help to patiently wait for?

I’ve learned that frustration is a smoldering fire that burns me out. The cooling water that douses that slow burn is patience, giving grace, accepting the shortcomings of others and myself, and forgiveness. Instead of my default, “Why are they acting like that?” I’m learning to say, “They have a right to their opinion. They have battles I don’t have to face. They have many good attributes and contributions.” Harmony sometimes requires the leader’s intervention, but more often it requires overlooking small offenses, quirks, and shortcomings. It always requires love. Who could use a little extra of your love today?

I have learned that respecting what others bring to the table makes a project successful. Honoring their strengths, both in personality and in abilities, is powerful. I don’t have to/shouldn’t depend on myself alone to get a job done. (After all, it is possible that someone else has a better idea!) As soon as I invite others to take responsibility and use their gifts, beautiful things happen. Is there someone in your family who needs to be invited to use their strengths for the good of the family?

I’ve learned that expressing gratitude to other team members encourages them and reminds me of God’s blessings. He put the team together so we would bond with each other, appreciate each other, help each other, and as a by-product, get the job done! Everyone wants to be needed and appreciated. A heartfelt, “Thank you,” is free to give and priceless to the person receiving it. Naming what you appreciate gives meaning to the Thank You. I got three Thank You cards in the last few months. Do you think I threw them away the day I got them? Nope! I still have them where I see them every day. Feeling appreciated keeps fuel in our tanks. Whose tank can you help fill up today?

Recipe for Teamwork:
2 cups Love
1.5 cups Respect
1 cup Submission to leadership
1 cup Patience
1/4 cup Forgiveness
1/2 cup Gratitude
Combine and bake in the oven of daily frustrations.  Yields one unified team and many happy outcomes.
Thank you to Michele Sherwood who gave me the idea for using the format of a recipe to express truth.  She uses recipes in her instructional materials that accompany her winsome videos on friendship.  (Links coming soon.)