Yesterday (as of this writing) dear Husband and I attended an outdoor wedding. The intense July sun was brutal, but it was worth it. When it was time for the meal, the two of us were looking for a table in the shade. But we were near the end of the line and the tables out of the direct sun were already occupied. As we stood there, a kind voice said, “Sit here, we’ll make room.” As she welcomed us, she got up from her meal and began moving chairs and people to give us a place at her table. What a relief to sit in the shade! Although we had never met, it didn’t take long to find common ground and we thoroughly enjoyed every minute with her and her husband, who was the pastor who had led the wedding ceremony. She could have let us go elsewhere, after all, they had already had lots of responsibility in the wedding and surely needed a break. But she noticed our plight and shared what she had. I was thankful and impressed with her generosity.  It struck me as a metaphor for what we can do for others. We can choose to close ourselves off from others, enjoying the comfort of our own little world, or we can inconvenience ourselves in order to welcome others into the comfort we can share. ‘There’s room at the table for you’ is music to anyone’s ears, strangers and family alike.

Before we went to the wedding, I had jotted down my idea for this week’s blog- evaluating our year so far. July 1st was the halfway mark of 2025. It sobered me to think that we’ve been barrelling through the year. I wondered if I dared to check in on the results of the first half of my year. When I was in business for myself, I had specific goals and often evaluated whether I had reached them for the month/quarter/year. But my retirement years have been harder to measure. Can you measure success in relationships? Can we determine whether we’re successful by how many people we’ve welcomed to our table, or the behavior of those we pour ourselves into? Should we keep track of how many kids we teach, or how many hours we volunteer? I think you’ll agree that the answer to these questions is No.  So are we off the hook? We don’t need to evaluate because there is no measurement for love?

Checking in on ourselves is a good idea since we will all stand before the Judge of all the earth one day. He will know how we spent our time- whether it was spent in unselfish and open hearted service to our family and those in need or not.   (Those in need, not just materially, but in need of caring friendship.). Were we generous in hospitality? (Even if it was just a place at a wedding reception table?). Were we quick to meet the needs of others? How did we spend our money? Just getting by because we weren’t wise stewards of the money we earned? Enjoying abundance, but not sharing it with the less fortunate? Always being stressed about investments or the lack thereof?

Since relationships matter more than material things, I made a list of ways to build relationships. As I wrote them down, they seemed to form an acronym. G-R-E-A-T. These aren’t in order of importance, but the letters helped me remember the elements of growing friendships in our family or with anyone else.
G is for gifts. Little and big things that show we were thinking of them, and that we know them well enough to give them something that fits them. A sweet friend brought me a beautiful bouquet from her garden that gave me so much pleasure. She knew I love flowers and she wanted to express her gratitude. I try to choose birthday and Christmas gifts for our 15 grandkids that will encourage their interests and give them enjoyment.

R is for rich. Do we treasure people, reveling in the interactions we get to have with them? Loving relationships make us rich. When we lived in an Asian country, the government put out a lot of propaganda about limiting children to two per family. You can imagine that a foreigner with six children was a spectacle. We got a lot of ridicule, but the older women, grandmas, would quietly say to me, “You are rich.” They didn’t mean wealthy. They meant we were rich in children and what they bring. I agree. There are two other R words that can shift our attitude away from feeling rich. Let’s be on our guard against these: Reactive and Rather. I have to constantly fight my reactive responses because they don’t contribute to the health of my relationships. Other times, I catch myself thinking I’d rather be doing my own thing instead of being interrupted. But then I say to myself, “People before things. Always.” Life is short.  It won’t matter on Judgment Day if my fridge was organized.

E is for effort. How can I make sure my family knows I care about them? What can I do today to show they are important? A photo texted to remind them that they are in my thoughts today. A follow up text, a thank you text, a check-in text. Communicating via their preferred method matters. I love to talk, but I honor other’s preference to text. (Hmmm, could it be that I’m too long-winded and they’re trying to avoid long conversations?!) It isn’t just communicating with them, it’s communicating with God about them. Praying takes effort! I’d rather not call to mind a certain family member because it hurts. But dear Husband faithfully prays for her each morning when we’re praying together. And every morning I mourn for her.

A is for attitude. Actions speak louder than words, and attitudes scream. My battle is hopelessness. After years of praying without seeing results, it’s easy to fall into hopelessness. I have to remember that what is impossible for humans is possible for God. His power surpasses all other forces, and his purposes will be accomplished.

T is for time. Obviously it takes time to lavish love on others. Time is the currency of relationships. Taking time for family and friends means there’s less time for other things- even other good things. We have to learn to let go of some things in order to embrace people.  Does my schedule reflect that? Being spontaneous in nature doesn’t excuse me from planning for time with family, and with friends, and for service. It’s good to be spontaneous- I want to be available when an adult kid calls. I want to be like the lady at the reception- ready to meet needs at a moment’s notice. Yet, I also need to set aside time regularly for connecting with family and friends in person and by phone.

Gifts
Rich
Effort
Attitude
Time

Let’s say often, “There’s a place at this table for you.”  whether physically or metaphorically. Here’s to great relationships the last half of the year!