What I learned from a 3:00am ER visit:

On the one hour drive to the hospital in the middle of the night, I didn’t have to fight traffic. I did have to fight fear.
We got fast, calm care. It turns out it wasn’t actually an emergency situation. . .  but blood scares me! We were sent home with minimal intervention and good advice.
Through this debacle, I learned that the Lord draws near to dummies, and remembers we’re so finite. I learned that his faithful love extends to us even when we aren’t the smartest. He has patience with our panics.

“The Lord is like a father to his children,
tender and compassionate to those who fear him.
For he knows how weak we are;
he remembers we are only dust.
Our days on earth are like grass;
like wildflowers, we bloom and die.
The wind blows, and we are gone—
as though we had never been here.
But the love (hesed) of the Lord remains forever
with those who fear him.” Psalm 103:13-17

He teaches us to trust him in the dark, wee hours. He proves himself day in and night out. He gives us a chance to exercise our meager faith so we’re ready for bigger tests.
He reminds us that many other people have more trials than we do. Yes, we have a rough spot in our road, but a family friend is facing a Dead End sign on his road and he is modeling extreme faith to us. He texts dear Husband every day to check on him and shows loving concern in spite of (or possibly because of) his own dire circumstances.
I learned that meditating on Scripture means that comfort is just a thought away.
I learned that when I store his Word in my thinking, it is there ready to carry me through the hard times.
I learned that concentrating on his promises keeps my brain from dark places.
I learned that receiving eye contact, a smile, and even a joke goes a long way in lifting burdens. So thankful for happy hospital staff, and a friend who showed up with a smile, a silly bird story, and nourishing soup.  Thankful for faithful friends whose cheerful calls light up our long days, and texts from family about beautiful or funny experiences (photos are a bonus!).

I learned that time spent studying and meditating on God’s Word is time well spent. It pays dividends a hundredfold when life makes sudden withdrawals from my account.
I learned that God guides our study of his Word so we’ll have what we need when we need it. What if I hadn’t paid attention when Husband’s brother called our attention to that passage in Mark 8 that has been my help for these past difficult weeks? If I had just read it and forgotten it, I wouldn’t have been able to repeat it to myself over and over,

“Don’t you understand yet? Haven’t you seen? Haven’t you heard? Don’t you remember?”
That was the way Jesus rebuked his disciples for not trusting him to supply their needs when he had proven himself capable of miraculous provision. Just like them, I find myself teetering on the edge of worry even though God has shown me over and over that he is taking good care of us. So I keep saying to myself, “Don’t you understand yet? Don’t you remember past provisions? Think of all the times God gave you just what you needed at just the right time. He has cared for you your whole life to this very minute.”

“he said, ‘Why are you arguing about having no bread? Don’t you know or understand even yet? Are your hearts too hard to take it in? ‘You have eyes—can’t you see? You have ears—can’t you hear?’ Don’t you remember anything at all? When I fed the 5,000 with five loaves of bread, how many baskets of leftovers did you pick up afterward?’
‘Twelve,’ they said.
‘And when I fed the 4,000 with seven loaves, how many large baskets of leftovers did you pick up?’
‘Seven,’ they said.
‘Don’t you understand yet?‘ he asked them.”  Jesus speaking in Mark 8:17-2

I’m so thankful that I put in time studying the lovingkindness of God last week. All the unfailing love verses hovered around me as I fought fear. While looking for a parking space at the hospital, I told the Lord, “You’re my Hesed bridegroom. You’re the steadfast groom who has vowed unending love and mercy. Your lovingkindness never fails. I know you will show us mercy tonight.”

“Now let your unfailing love (hesed) comfort me, just as you promised me, your servant.” Psalm 119:76
“Let me hear of your steadfast love (hesed) each morning, for I am trusting you. Show me where to walk, for I give myself to you.” Pslam 143:8  (4:00am is morning!)
“O Lord, you are so good, so ready to forgive, so full of lovingkindness (hesed) for all who ask for your help.” Pslam 86:5
“I will be glad and rejoice in your loyal love (hesed), for you have seen my troubles, and you care about the anguish of my soul.” Psalm 31:7

I learned that I need to be as diligent in thanking as I am in asking. When things are humming along, I want to appreciate the Blesser as much as the blessings. And when things are careening downhill, I want to notice the sweet, little blessings he leaves in our path. I want to be a good praiser and not just a pleader.
I learned I need to direct my thoughts carefully when my brain is idling. I want to be intentional about meditating on Scripture when I have times of waiting, or while driving, or when the ‘what if’ worries come.
I learned I need to be alert to the suffering of others so I can walk with them through their valleys as others are walking with us. I want to have the same concern for others as I have for ourselves. I want to model faith. I want to share the comfort God as given us.