Dear Husband’s 95-year-old mother has been in terrible pain. She has had multiple compression fractures of the spine due to osteoporosis. Everyone who loves her is pained to see her in pain. We have all wrestled with questions. “Why doesn’t God just take her home?” “Why does God let her continue to suffer?” “What good does it do for her to be in pain like this?” “Poor Dad, he’s miserable watching her suffer and there’s nothing he can do to take the pain away.” So many questions.

When my heart was heavy and I couldn’t sleep last night, I was thinking of some verses written by the prophet Isaiah so long ago. Isaiah has been a favorite book of mine since I was a young mom. So much practical wisdom for the hard parts of life! I still have (somewhere) a little notebook full of favorite verses that I copied when I was in my twenties, struggling with life plans, and raising littles. Many of the verses in that old notebook are from Isaiah. Now, some of God’s words through Isaiah have come to me again to correct, instruct, and comfort me.

I needed God to correct my wrong thinking before he could comfort me. I get to thinking that I know a better way. Why can’t God see that her suffering is pointless? Shouldn’t he take my suggestion and bring her home to Heaven? But the truth is that I have no right to question how God is doing things. When I argue with God about what he’s doing, I only bring sorrow on myself. I’m suffering more than the bad situation itself is causing me to suffer. By my impudence, I’m causing my own pain. When I don’t honor God as the magnificent Creator who has a right to direct his creatures, I make myself miserable.

“What sorrow awaits those who argue with their Creator.
 Does a clay pot argue with its maker?
Does the clay dispute with the one who shapes it, saying,
‘Stop, you’re doing it wrong!’
Does the pot exclaim,
‘How clumsy can you be?’” Isaiah 45:9

When we start asking the accusatory, “Why?” we open ourselves up to distress. (There is a meditational, “Why?” that searches for what God wants to do in my life through suffering.)

“How terrible it would be if a newborn baby said to its father,
‘Why was I born?’
or if it said to its mother,
 ‘Why did you make me this way?’” Isaiah 45:10

Another thought on this verse: Some in our own day are guilty of saying, ‘Why did you make me this way? I was born one gender, but I want to be another.’  In defiance, they take it upon themselves to change God’s creation, their body. And they live to experience the sorrow that arguing with their Creator brings. But any of us can be just as guilty by lamenting physical ailments stemming from genetics. I’ve caught myself saying, ‘Why did I have to inherit that?!’ ‘Why did you make me this way?’ is an easy trap to fall into!

God is very clear that he doesn’t have to do things the way we want! What he chooses for his children is his choice. He is holy; there is no fault in him. He loves perfectly and what he does for his children is perfect, no matter how it looks to us. We have all, hopefully, realized it’s wise to defer to another when they have more knowledge, experience, and expertise than we do. For instance, I don’t question dear Husband about how he takes care of things we own with engines. He has an innate skill in all things mechanical, he has had training, and a lifetime of experience. How could I, who can’t remember which way to turn a screw, ever think of criticizing his judgment in vehicle/equipment care?! He, on the other hand, doesn’t try to tell me how to cook because he recognizes that we’ve survived approximately 53,000 of my meals so far. So we should defer to God, who is the only fully capable Being in the universe.

Unlike God’s perfect loving care of his children, there is always a taint of selfishness in our desires for our loved ones. We want them spared pain in some measure because their pain pains us. But we can’t know what refining this testing is doing in their lives and ours. Suffering for God’s children is never wasted. We learn things in the dark that we couldn’t learn in the sunshine. Only the holy Creator has the knowledge to do the right thing. Only he, as Father, knows the very best for us.

“This is what the Lord says—the Holy One of Israel and your Creator:
“Do you question what I do for my children?
  Do you give me orders about the work of my hands?” Isaiah 45:11

After all, God has been in charge since he made the earth! It was his idea to make people to populate this planet. He certainly doesn’t need his creatures to direct him. His creation stretches to the farthest galaxy and each star obeys him.  He is the only one qualified to be in charge.

“I am the one who made the earth
 and created people to live on it.
 With my hands I stretched out the heavens.
 All the stars are at my command.” Isaiah 45:12

What a comfort to know that my suffering mother-in-law is God’s beloved child! As her Father, he is equipped to do the best thing for her and for us. I have to relinquish the desire for control in order to experience his comfort and peace. I have to admit that I don’t know what’s best because I can’t read the hearts and minds of those involved. Nor can I make the right thing happen. But I defer to the only One who can.