“When are you going to get a real husband?” Suddenly, the seven-year-old had everyone’s attention.
The children’s Bible class in our church had spent the hour reenacting the book of Ruth in the Old Testament. The teenage student-teacher had played the part of Ruth who loved her mother-in-law so much that she left her mother and father to take care of her widowed mother-in-law, Naomi. I had played the part of old Naomi and the children had played the other characters in the story including Boaz, who like Ruth, was rewarded for his unselfish care of a needy widow. Kind Boaz was played by a boy about ten years old. The last scene we had acted out was Ruth and Boaz getting married and then the happy arrival of a baby played by a blue-eyed baby doll. (!) Naomi, (me), was overjoyed and I sat down with the baby in my lap staring at it lovingly. Then standing in front of the group, the teenage student-teacher who had played Ruth did a beautiful job wrapping up what the children can learn from the story of Ruth. She had barely finished when suddenly a seven-year-old boy had a burning question for her.
“Addison,* when are you going to get a real husband?”
A ten-year-old girl in the back piped up with gusto, “She’s only thirteen!”
Blushing, the student-teacher corrected her, “Actually, I’m fourteen now.”
The inquisitive seven-year-old replied, “Ok, people can’t get married till they’re eighteen.”
Although I was giggling on the inside, I was also pleased that the child had obviously been processing the truths of the Bible reenactment. God’s plan for most of us is that we marry for life and raise children together. He viewed her as an adult and so he was eager for her to take the next step which in his mind was marriage.
After church, I recounted the interaction to his mom. She giggled with me and then explained that her son has been asking questions about marriage recently. I was thrilled to hear that this wise mom has been teaching her son about God’s pattern for marriage as he shows interest.
Later, when the student-teacher and I were evaluating the class time and planning for next week’s class she shared a passage from the New Testament that she had been thinking about after a Bible Study she attended. She read me verses about marriage and again I was thrilled that our young people are getting Biblical teaching on God’s plan for marriage. It has always been crucial to understand how to have a satisfying marriage according to Scripture, but in today’s culture, it seems especially necessary to hear God’s voice above the din of bad ideas about sexuality and marriage.
I had been thinking about God’s plan for sexuality and marriage while studying the book of Ruth. Here’s what I noticed:
God’s plan is for a man and a woman to join together for life, produce offspring, and parent together for the mutual benefit of all. Each member of the family reaps the rewards of security, mutual help, love, stability, and safety. (Yes, we know some people choose not to marry or some aren’t able to have children. But, in general, lifetime marriage is the ideal.) “May the Lord show you kindness, as you have shown kindness to your dead husbands and to me. May the Lord grant that each of you will find rest in the home of another husband.” Naomi’s prayer for her widowed daughters-in-law in Ruth 1:8
A husband should provide for and protect his wife and children. And she, under his umbrella of protection, also protects and provides for her children and her husband. Both spouses are mutually dependent on the other. As the student-teacher shared with me from 1 Corinthians 11, “But among the Lord’s people, women are not independent of men, and men are not independent of women. For although the first woman came from man, every other man was born from a woman, and everything comes from God.” Wow! If our society adopted cooperation instead of competition, what a happier world we would live in! So glad my sweet young friend already understands this.
The Hebrew word ‘Rest’ is used when Naomi declares that it’s time for her to find a permanent home or rest for Ruth, ie a better situation for Ruth where she doesn’t have to be the sole bread-winner or be a lone, unprotected woman. God intended marriage to provide a resting place of safety, security, and provision for all the members of the household. “One day Ruth’s mother-in-law Naomi said to her, “My daughter, I must find a home [Hebrew word is rest] for you, where you will be well provided for.” Ruth 3:1
Love is unselfish and has the other’s best in mind. True love is expressed by action. Loving action often involves determination to do the hard things. Both Ruth and Boaz made decisions based on what was best for the loved one and followed through with loving actions even when it was hard. Boaz replied, “I’ve been told all about what you have done for your mother-in-law since the death of your husband—how you left your father and mother and your homeland and came to live with a people you did not know before. May the Lord repay you for what you have done. May you be richly rewarded by the Lord, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to take refuge.” Ruth 2:11-12
Children are a blessing from the Lord – their parents’ love in physical form. Ideally, they keep their grandparents young and repay the care they received from parents and grandparents. They may carry on the faith to future generations as was the case with Obed whose influence is seen in King David.
“He [Obed, the baby born to Ruth and Boaz] will renew your life and sustain you in your old age. For your daughter-in-law, who loves you and who is better to you than seven sons, has given him birth.
Then Naomi took the child in her arms and cared for him. The women living there said, “Naomi has a son!” And they named him Obed. He was the father of Jesse, the father of David.” Ruth 4:15-17
Are there young people you can influence by your example and your words to light their way toward happy, lifetime marriages God’s way?
Will you listen to the young people in your life so you can appropriately discuss God’s pattern for marriage with them?
Remember that our young people are under a daily barrage of lies about their bodies, especially their sexuality. We were jolted into reality recently when our great-niece asked her parents to pick her up from school before the day was over. She had to excuse herself from class because her teacher had handed out gay pride flags to each student and assigned them to run up and down the halls waving them.
In a culture that goes against nature and science** and declares that we can be any sex we choose, we need to be a safe haven where our young people find refuge from the lying attacks. We can provide a safe place where they can form healthy views of themselves and their purpose.
Let’s be ready with Scriptural principles to guide their hearts into happy marriages where both spouses love God, each other, and their children.
* The name has been changed to protect the innocents.
** Every cell in our body is inexorably embedded with male or female DNA from shortly after conception. No amount of drugs or surgery can change it.
Oh wow. This has been my favorite blog so far. So well put. So important.
You’re a hero mom! You already know how important teaching our kids about God’s design for marriage because you do it faithfully and model it. Thank you for parenting good future husbands and wife.