“I felt sad when I found my grandmother on the floor, dead.” shared a nine-year-old in response to the question of when the class had felt sad.
The student-teacher had asked when the characters in the story felt sad. After some responses, she asked if any of the children have felt sad. I was shocked at the quick, varied, and many answers from these children between the ages of six and ten. Several of the children had experienced truly sad things and those experiences were top of mind. Their stories tumbled out one after the other. Surprisingly, when asked when they felt happy, there was silence. The same group of children couldn’t think of happy times to share. We primed the pump with the words Christmas and Birthday, but still the responses were lackluster. These children aren’t from one parent households, or low income, or from unsafe neighborhoods. No, they were all from stable, loving, secure families. Yet the heartache of death, accidents, and illnesses in their families are real to them. They are keenly aware that life can be hard.
I was sobered. Are we teaching them what to do when these distressing things happen? Do we realize that little ears are listening, little eyes are watching, and little hearts are hurting when pain and loss hit our families? Are we taking the time to help them process the worry and hurt? Are we helping them take these burdens to God in prayer? Are we talking about the promises in Scripture that comfort us? Are we honest about our own feelings and how God is helping us cope? Are we being examples of trusting God with the hard things? Do we underestimate the capacity of children to understand and love God?
A few days ago a relative shared these verses which really resonated with me. Scripture is clear that faith is a lifetime endeavor- from earliest childhood to old age.
“O Lord, you alone are my hope.
I’ve trusted you, O Lord, from childhood.
Yes, you have been with me from birth;
from my mother’s womb you have cared for me.
No wonder I am always praising you!
O God, you have taught me from my earliest childhood,
and I constantly tell others about the wonderful things you do.
Now that I am old and gray,
do not abandon me, O God.
Let me proclaim your power to this new generation, your mighty miracles to all who come after me.” Psalm 71:5-6,17-18
From earliest childhood, children can grasp the concept of talking to God because he formed us with the capacity to seek him. We can model this by praying with children and by sharing with them how God answered our prayers.
Being honest about our hurts and fears allows them to be honest about theirs. But let’s not leave our conversation in a negative place. Let’s share that God already sees our feelings and wants to help us so we should tell him honestly. That we can ask for his help, trusting that he hears us. We can watch and wait for him to show up. We know he’s near because we have peace from him and courage and hope. Sometimes we get to see his kind answers and sometimes we just keep trusting that he is doing the very best thing even when we can’t see it. 
Children can understand truth about what God is like. They love to hear that God is their loving Father who takes care of them. They love to hear that God is strong and can help them. They are comforted when we remind them that God is so interested in us that he is available at all times whenever we need to talk to him.
Reading Bible stories or telling the stories should be a daily ritual for young ones. There are so many beautifully illustrated Bible storybooks available to pique a child’s imagination. The stories show us what God is like, but just learning the storyline might not be enough for children to use the truths in their everyday lives. Often children need us to point out what the story tells us about God and about us. Then we can talk about how they can trust God with their own problems. It’s great that young David killed the giant, but how can they use that story in their daily experiences? We can point out that David’s confidence was in God, not himself alone. The story shows us that we have help when we need it. We can remind them that God helped David even when it seemed impossible. We see that we can accomplish big, hard things with God’s help. Bringing Bible stories into their personal lives will comfort and strengthen them when they need it most.
Even little ones can memorize Scripture so it’s in their minds when they’re faced with problems. I’ll never forget Psalm 31:5 which I learned as a young child and still pops into my mind when I need assurance that God is at work. I think it stuck in my mind because we made a craft that helped me visualize the concept. We made a cut-out clock with hands that moved and wrote the verse on it. The clock was resting on a pair of strong, open hands.
“My times are in your hands.” Psalm 31:5
Children can understand that obeying God brings happiness. It isn’t enough to know Bible stories or even to pray. We must choose to do the right thing day in and day out. This pleases God and he rewards us in many ways. He makes us happy. He gives us peace. He helps us trust him more. He protects us. He provides for us. When we obey it opens the door to blessings on top of blessings. When we disobey what we know is right, we open ourselves up to trouble, sadness, and separation from God. But we can choose at any time to ask for forgiveness and he will help us yearn to do right.
Let’s remember that the children in our lives are keenly aware that life can be hard. Our job is to equip them to deal with the hurt. Teaching them to talk to God and ask for his help will be a lifetime tool for coping. Children can grasp basic truths about God. When they understand what God is like, they’ll want to obey him and thus walk a path of happiness, peace, and security right in the middle of life’s hard places. Let’s all be more alert for opportunities to influence the children in our lives by our example and words!