Do you ever feel small in a big world?  Or inadequate to a demanding job?  Here’s a little tidbit that has helped me.
Remember ways the Lord has helped you in the past.
Notice the answers to prayer as they happen in the moment.

This weekend our family celebrated three birthdays.  Yes, we met outside and didn’t hug.  (OK, I did hug my little granddaughter because she isn’t tall enough to put her head close to mine.)  Anyway, we had a dilemma.  Two days before the get-together our kitty got sick.  Now this doesn’t sound like a big deal, does it?  But our granddaughters love our kitty and spend happy hours playing with him when they visit.  We knew they look forward to seeing him.  Kitty got sicker.  He didn’t eat or even drink.  Then he couldn’t jump up on his favorite chair.  Then he couldn’t walk.  We were heartsick.  We didn’t want to have to tell the four granddaughters that their beloved kitty died.  So I prayed for our sick cat.  I told the Lord about it all and asked if the cat had to die, could it wait until after the girls had had a chance to enjoy him one last time and not ruin our birthday gathering.  I asked for mercy and for healing.  Sounds silly?  Well, I figure if the Lord knows us deeply and even keeps track of our hairs, he wouldn’t mind if I talked to him about our pet.  On the morning of our birthday get-together, kitty was much better.  He tired out easily and needed some extra naps, but he drank and ate a little.  He hung out with the girls even tho he couldn’t play like usual.  They got to pet him and talk to him.  Just before two of them left, they squatted down and touched his silky fur as he lay on the ground resting.  I took a mental snapshot of their little hands caressing him and their faces lit up with smiles.  And I breathed a ’Thank You’ sigh to the God who cares about little girls and cats.

While the adults were sitting around the outdoor table, past family experiences came up.  I got a little grandmother-ish and told some stories about our rough re-entry into the US after living in a third world country for ten years.  It had been hard to find a house to rent with six kids and no work history or credit history for the past ten years.  We basically didn’t exist on paper.  We had left when we were 30 years old with only a few years of work experience after college.  Now we were 40, had a big family, and only $7,000. with which to buy a car, furniture, winter clothing, and rent a house.  Finally, we found one property manager who was willing to take a risk and rent to us provided we could pay a Big deposit and first and last month’s rent.  Did I mention neither of us were employed and the economy was depressed?!  So we finally rented house, bought a used van, and some basic (used) furniture.  We were accumulating warm clothes from garage sales.  One day, our oldest who was a senior in his new high school came to me privately.  “Mom, I understand that we have to buy our clothes at garage sales.  I don’t mind so much, but I just don’t like to wear used underwear.”  About this time we found out that our youngest, a kindergartener, had been asked by his grandmother what he wanted for his birthday.  What he requested brought her near to tears.  He didn’t ask for a toy.  He asked for socks and underwear.

Did you know that God doesn’t mind being put to the test?  He’s happy to prove himself to us.  This doesn’t mean we can ask for a pink Cadillac, snap our fingers, and expect him to be a genie in a bottle!  God doesn’t answer prayers that satisfy our selfish desires.  He does answer prayers that help us get to know him better.  He answers humble prayers.  He answers honest prayers asking him to show himself.

After a year of financial struggle, we had the opportunity to make a better living in a different part of the state thanks to Husband’s parents’ generous loan to buy a business. However, the business was struggling when we bought it and it took a little time to build it up. Unbeknownst to us, we had hired a clueless CPA to handle our taxes who had us paying way more taxes than necessary. No matter how many hours we worked, we could barely make ends meet. One afternoon I was driving to pick up kids at school after working at our business. I knew we were low on milk and wanted to stop at the grocery store, but then I remembered I didn’t have even enough money to buy a gallon of milk.  We were eating venison every night for supper thanks to Husband’s father who was an avid hunter.  We were able to buy 100-pound sacks of potatoes from local farmers for very cheap.  So, with monotonous meals of venison and potatoes, we were making it- with or without milk.  Then came the day that we talked to a customer who was a CPA.  He suggested we let him assess our tax burden.  Several days later, I can still see it in my mind’s eye, the little man came striding into our store demanding, “What Are You Doing?!”
Husband, “What do you mean, what are we doing?”
New CPA, “Why are you overpaying your taxes?”
Husband, “Now I don’t want any funny business.  This has to be on the up and up.”
New CPA, “No funny business.  I can get your tax load way down and get you refunds to boot.”
And that’s when the turnaround began.

God loves to come near and listen to us tell him our needs.  Then he loves to show up at just the right moment and take care of us.  He loves for us to notice him at work and thank him.  He wants us to know that we are seen and heard.  He is so unlimited that he can give attention to me even though I’m very small in the big scheme of things.  I’m important to him no matter how unimportant I am in the world. It’s mind-boggling that he would care about the details of my life when the world is facing crises of huge proportions!

God sees and hears.  He helps us with and without our help.  Why he cares, I have never been able to fathom.  But I know he does.  I’ve seen it over and over in our family’s history.  I saw it again yesterday.   I know I will see it tomorrow.

“What is the price of two sparrows—one copper coin? But not a single sparrow can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it. And the very hairs on your head are all numbered.  So don’t be afraid…”  Matthew 10:30-31

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