I’m embarrassed to admit that I got sideways over several small Christmas preparations.  What’s worse is that these were first-world issues that I’m lucky to deal with while many in the world don’t have enough to eat.  But that didn’t prevent me from getting upset.  Because I didn’t plan ahead, our Christmas family get-together totally fell apart.  Schedules just couldn’t be meshed on short notice. There wouldn’t be any giggling cousins playing together or siblings chatting this holiday at our house.   I blew it and I was down in the dumps.  Then I let a litany of little things get me down.  I blew the photo I took of friends in front of their new house for their Christmas card.  It was lovely of them, but I got the exposure and tone off and didn’t realize it before I gave them the digital file.  It will print horribly and I ruined their Christmas cards.   Then there were the Christmas lights I unpacked that didn’t light.  We no longer set up a tree, but I like small lights in a couple of places.  When I found some pretty ones at the store in our little town, they turned out to be battery operated, to which normally generous Husband declared in no uncertain terms that he was not buying any battery-powered lights. How ridiculous I felt as wet stuff started to form in my eyeballs right there in the Christmas aisle!  What the heck was wrong with me?!  Who cries over Christmas lights?!  It was just one more thing that hadn’t worked out the way I had hoped. ( I didn’t remember we already had that size rechargeable batteries until I got in the car.)  Sigh.  Sometimes I don’t like myself.  

So what is the real problem?  And what is the solution?  I’m a disorganized train wreck and I just need to get my act together and plan?  That, of course, would help.  But that isn’t the root problem.  It’s deeper than that.  Why don’t I plan?  If I’m honest, it’s because I don’t believe anything I plan will work out well anyway.  I often fail, and on top of that, others disappoint me.  Usually, it’s just easier to keep my head down, do my daily work, take the days as they come, and not look ahead.  If I make big plans, I’m afraid I’m headed for big disappointments.  Just call me Eeyore.  What is the answer to this negative Nelly thinking?  I think the answer has a lot to do with the Christmas story.

I look at Mary, the mother of Jesus.  Talk about your plans not working out!  She was engaged to be married and I’m sure was busy preparing for her wedding when a supernatural being interrupted her quiet life.  His news turned her life upside down and she would never have the life she had planned.  Ever.  The rest of her life would be one disruption after another.  A near divorce.  (Poor Joseph was heartbroken when he realized his innocent bride-to-be wasn’t. He planned to break the engagement by taking legal action the equivalent of a divorce.  Just in time, Joseph got his own encounter with a supernatural being.)   Critical gossip.  A hard trip at the worst time of her pregnancy.  No warm, clean place to give birth.  No family to support her during her first labor and delivery.  Only rough strangers to pay a visit to the newborn when she had barely caught her breath from giving birth.  But instead of complaining about strangers barging in in the middle of the night, we’re told, “But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.”  Another translation says, “but Mary kept all these things in her heart and thought about them often.”  (Luke 2:19)  She graciously accepted and even treasured the good parts of her difficulties.  After all, those visitors were enthusiastically recounting their own supernatural being encounter and were overjoyed to meet her Baby, their Messiah.  Several weeks later, while performing a religious tradition, she was informed that she was doomed to sorrow because of her baby.  An old man pronounced this prophecy over the infant, “He has been sent as a sign from God, but many will oppose him.  As a result, the deepest thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. And a sword will pierce your very soul.” (Luke 2:34) There was no going home to get moral support from her mother or to show her the baby.  Instead, there was a rushed midnight escape to a foreign country to save the baby’s life…and remove her further from home and family.  And that was only the beginning.  She faced serious disappointments later in life, too, yet somehow, she kept her faith and didn’t get angry, bitter, or discouraged.  She didn’t insist on things going as she wanted.   Shouldn’t I do the same?

She, unlike me, didn’t let the dark lie that things aren’t going to work out very well creep into her beliefs.  She humbly accepted the many strange events because she was convinced God was in control even though she couldn’t begin to understand them.  “Oh, how my soul praises the Lord.  How my spirit rejoices in God my Savior!”  (Luke 1:46).   As young as twelve, Jesus said and did things that she didn’t understand.   “But they (Joseph and Mary) didn’t understand what he (Jesus) meant. . . And his mother stored all these things in her heart.”  (Luke 2:50, 51). She didn’t mull over her disappointments, she simply accepted what was and kept trusting God to bring the right conclusion to things in the end.  Even when she had to watch her innocent son be killed, she persevered in her faith and was rewarded with seeing him come back to life.  I wonder what conversations they had before he left for Heaven?  Maybe her Son tenderly encouraged her to keep trusting until she would join him forever in that happy place.  I think he tells me the same.