A few days ago I went to a cousin reunion.  There were only four of us meeting in a city two and a half days journey from two of the cousins and half a day’s trip from the other two.   This event has triggered thoughts about life, death, and legacy.

Life, in that it was a pleasure to realize that we all like each other (and our spouses) after lifetimes of living apart.  The last time I had  seen one cousin was 49 years ago at my grandmother’s funeral.  It struck me yet again that the inner person matters so much more in relationships than the outer, visible appearance.  We are aging and the outside isn’t what it used to be.  But character and attitude shone brightly and washed over every conversation and any situation.  Life’s hard knocks can’t knock down our inner person.  In fact, often the hard knocks refine our character, making us better people.

Death, because it was sobering to realize that we are now the old generation.  All our parents and aunts and uncles are dead and we are next in line.

Legacy, because it made me more determined to leave sweet memories behind in the hearts of my grandchildren.  I was reminded yet again that kids remember only snippets from their youngest years.  I want to guard my attitude so that whichever snippet they remember, it will be positive.  One cousin was recalling his earliest memories of our grandfather who died when we were very young.  He could only pull up two memories from visits with him.  He remembered our grandfather sitting at the head of a big table cutting corn off the cob before he ate it.  And he remembered a few second incident that tainted his feelings about Grandfather for the rest of his life.  He was with Grandfather in his car when, little boy that he was, he rolled down the car window.  Grandfather seemed harsh when he commanded him, “Roll that window up!”  There was even a good reason for why the window shouldn’t be rolled down, but to a gentle and sensitive little soul, the exchange felt cold and harsh.  And it was forever burned into his memory.  Since there weren’t other memories to influence that one negative one, sixty-five years later there was still a wince at the memory.  I thought, “Oh, Lord, who is able to leave only good behind?  Help me, please!”.  I want to remind myself often that little hearts are tender and I may at any minute be imprinting them for the rest of their lives.

“But if you cause one of these little ones who trusts in me to fall into sin, it would be better for you to have a large millstone tied around your neck and be drowned in the depths of the sea.”  Matthew 18:6

“…do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.”  Ephesians 6:4

“Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.”  Ephesians 4:2

Moses’ last teaching:

“Let my teaching fall on you like rain;

let my speech settle like dew.

Let my words fall like rain on tender grass,

like gentle showers on young plants.

I will proclaim the name of the Lord;

how glorious is our God!

He is the Rock; his deeds are perfect.”  Deuteronomy 32:2-4

I want to teach and speak to the young ones in my life like this!

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