“We’re engaged!” announced a happy first grader coming in from recess. Their amused teacher had noticed a growing closeness between her two students and smiled at their sweetness. The delighted little girl explained that the little boy had proposed marriage on the playground, and she had accepted. Being a busy teacher, she didn’t think much more about it until the little girl’s mother contacted her later in the day. The girl had come home from school, had explained the happy news, and had proudly showed her mom the beautiful diamond ring she had carefully brought home in her backpack. Of course, the girl’s mom was flabbergasted and sought an explanation from the teacher. In the end, the teacher unravelled the sweet/scary story of the ring. It turns out that the little boy’s mother had taken off her lovely ring and had forgotten to put it back on before leaving for work. Her little son saw an opportunity to pledge his love to his little girlfriend. He carefully took the ring to school, waiting for a romantic moment on the playground to pop the question and seal the deal. Since the ring was too big, the little girl had put the ring safely in her backpack. Of course, the ring was returned to its rightful owner the next day. (The first-grade teacher is my dear friend’s daughter, and this happened recently.)
Points to Ponder:
The little boy understood the significance of the ring. He wanted what the ring stood for- love and commitment.
The valuable ring could have so easily been lost, but both children valued it and kept it safe.
Children learn from the example of their parents.
“What can I do?” a certain nine-year-old boy would always say to me as I entered the church building with arms full of teaching supplies. I looked forward to the Sundays when it was my turn to teach the kids’ Bible class at our church because I had the best assistant ever! The job had never been assigned to him; he just knew I have some physical limitations and he was dedicated to picking up the slack. He would immediately start taking items from me to carry. We’d go to the upstairs classroom and set up. He’d put chairs and tables in place and lay out the materials with a smile on his face, chatting with me. During class, he’d often position himself near me so he could help. Knowing I’m forgetful, he’d whisper reminders in my ear at appropriate times- “It’s snack time, should I pass out the snacks?” “Should I check if the adults are done with church?” Often, the younger boys would vie for the privilege of being near him or on his lap. Even tho he was only a few years older, he was like a good dad to them. I was blown away by his kind attitude and good sense.
Then one day his dad came after class to collect his three children- my helper and his younger brother and sister. I was finishing the cleanup. I bet you can’t guess what the dad said to me! “What can I help you with?” as he started carrying things for me. It was a light bulb moment! His son had learned from him how to think of others and lend a hand without being asked. I knew in an instant why I had such a good assistant.
Our culture minimizes the honor of parenting. It magnifies the freedom to spend our time and money on ourselves. We honor careers with their intellectual and financial accomplishments, but sneer at stay-at-home moms or dads. We aspire to having enough free time and money to travel, enjoy hobbies, concerts, parties, dining out, and physical activities. We feel cheated if we’re stuck in the day-to-day caring for needy little ones, or meeting the never ending needs of young, growing intellects and bodies. Admittedly, there is less money and free time while parenting. The demands are great, and sometimes the rewards come in small doses.
“First of all, I taught you what I had received. It was this: Messiah died for our sins as the Holy Writings said He would.” 1 Corinthians 15:3
But parenting is holy work. God entrusts us with little people with wide eyes and big ears. They watch, listen, and imitate our good and our bad. (Just listen to a toddler pretend to talk on the phone. You’ll hear an impersonation of her mother!) My parenting days are long past, you say. May I remind you of what one of our daughters observed just yesterday while talking to us on the phone? “Yes, your kids are grown, but we have kids, and they are hopefully going to have kids. It’s never over.” Sigh and smile. She’s right. We’re never off the hook. We have influence on those coming behind us. We can encourage and support our kids as they raise their own kids in these challenging times. Giving advice -when asked!- is an honor. But it must be tempered with the knowledge that our kids and grandkids are not us. They must search and find their own way with God’s help. We can give loving attention to our grandkids even if it’s long distance. All of us can be cheerleaders for not only our grandkids, but also other children and younger people in our churches, neighborhoods, and schools.
“Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.” 1 Corinthians 11:1“Join together in following my example, brothers and sisters, and just as you have us as a model, keep your eyes on those who live as we do.” Philippians 3:17
Our lives can show those coming behind us that the investment of raising children is worth it. Our lives are rich in relationships. Our investment has brought returns. Our obedience to God is worth it. We are better people because we didn’t seek our own selfish ends. The closing part of our lives is better because we chose to invest in others. I look at friends who invested heavily in family and service to others, and I see life-giving energy coming back to them from kids, grandkids, and younger friends. Then I notice friends who chose not to have kids or spend themselves on behalf of others, and my heart aches for them. What was freedom is already becoming very empty. What were quiet and relaxing evenings are now nights of deafening silence and isolation. Their trips have lost their novelty. Their spacious homes are empty during the holidays.
Where are you investing?
