‘Let me be thankful, first, because he never robbed me before; second, because although he took my purse, he did not take my life; third, because although he took all I possessed, it was not much; and fourth, because it was I who was robbed, not I who robbed.’

Matthew Henry (1662-1714)  English Bible commentator

My mind went back to last month’s sermons on forgiveness.  We are commanded to forgive.  God forgave us.  We must forgive others.  God tells us to let go of the desire to make the offender pay.  He says that’s his job.  He knows that forgiving does us good.  It sets us free.  Forgiving gets the thief out of our heads.  We don’t have to keep replaying it.  (Even when the thief does his best to get into our heads with his ongoing texts.)  We’ve let go of the desire for revenge.  We have prayed that he will be changed in his heart.  We have moved on.

We have learned some expensive lessons.  Here are things I learned from this unfortunate experience:

I allowed cowardice to silence me.  I hate confrontation.  I had a strong feeling that I didn’t want to deal with this man, but I didn’t express it clearly to Husband.  I tried to get rid of the guy by saying we’d think about it and let him know later.  But Husband felt we should just do it.  I didn’t stick with my instinct. I caved and wrote the check instead of sounding the alarm.  I’m a suspicious person and sometimes I’m wrong, so I didn’t trust myself.  Next time I’ll clearly tell Husband directly if I have misgivings.

I allowed greed -‘that’s a cheap price’- to trump my misgivings.  That’s what the scammer counts on- giving such a low price that you’re suckered in by your own greed and blinded by the promise of saving money.  I was easily tempted by a good deal.  If it’s too good to be true, it isn’t.

We broke our promise to one another to never make a decision to spend a significant amount of money until we have talked it over and prayed about it overnight.  We never do spur of the moment spending.  Ahem, almost never.

I was lazy and didn’t do due diligence ahead of time.  If we had checked BBB, we wouldn’t have fallen prey to this schister.  He has done this for years to countless people.  It was also laziness that silenced the internal alarm and made me write the check.  Just get it over with and order the cabinets.  Be done, do the easiest thing.

We discovered the police hadn’t done anything in spite of frequent calls of complaints by victims.

I discovered that it’s a lot easier to forgive him than it is to forgive those who have harmed my children.  Money is only money.  There are thefts of the soul and body that truly harm.  It brought up these past hurts from years ago and forced me to acknowledge that God is Judge and he will repay.  Vengeance belongs only to God.  I can’t make them pay.  The pervs are in more powerful and righteous hands than mine.

I was reminded that evil lurks in the human heart and God has mercifully protected our lives.

I learned that relatives and friends rallied around, expressed outrage, and comforted us.  My brother-in-law texted us a very appropriate verse which reminded me again why I don’t want to be that thief.

I learned that I have a responsibility to expose the thief in any way I can to prevent others from being robbed.  This takes effort and time and I just want to be done with it already.  I’m lazy.

P.S.  If you live in Oregon, don’t buy cabinets from a guy on Craigs List.  Even if he comes to your house and measures and shows you cabinets in his truck that he’s made.