I’m all for goal setting.  With my ping-pong default, having written goals is the only thing that keeps me on track.  But it’s all you read/hear/talk about this time of year.  I’d like to suggest we should not only look forward but also look back.  Look back with gratitude.  I know we have to look back and identify what we did wrong, where we fell short so we can correct course.  But let’s also relive the joy, the fun, the laughs and give thanks to the Giver of happiness.  I love reminiscing about the silly things with my husband.  We laugh as hard when we remember a funny experience as when it actually happened, maybe harder.  We have inside jokes which have a catch phrase that we repeat at opportune times.  When we just squeaked by in an incident that could have been much worse, one of us will say, “Good seng I had my underwears on.”  A quote from our youngest at age 3 after his shorts ripped wide open at the back seam.  Or after completing a task of folding Husband will say, “Looks like a dog did it,” because he knows it’ll always get a laugh out of me.  Needless to say, I very rarely ask him to fold anything and we don’t have a dog to ask, either.

I like making a mental list of all the happy things that happened in the past year.  It’s even more fun to talk about the memories with those involved and laugh together. Christmas a year ago a granddaughter opened her most special gift- a doll.  Tenderly picking it out of its box, she lovingly put it on her shoulder and cuddled it.  As her mom raised her phone to take a photo, Grandpa snuck behind our granddaughter and made a terrible face at the doll.  Snap.  “Let me see,”  said granddaughter.  Smiling in anticipation, she glanced at the photo.  Mid-smile her expression suddenly changed as she noticed Grandpa was making faces at her baby doll.  She instantly whirled around to confront the offender with a look that could melt steel.  We all had a belly laugh and have laughed many times since when we recall that Christmas morning.  I’ll take a second helping of laughs, please.

Photos can remind us of happy events we may have forgotten or not been physically present for.  I cherish phone photos family members spontaneously sent me of grandchildren enjoying the moment.  Even tho I wasn’t present, it makes me happy remembering their happy moments.  An image my daughter-in-love texted me of sisters sitting together in the dark admiring their glowing Christmas tree comes to mind.  Photos of family members together are precious and reinforce the importance and fleeting nature of time together.  “She looks so little in that picture.  My, how she’s grown this year!”  I took photos of our youngest granddaughter every month since her birth this past Spring and gave her mother a little spiral book of the photos for Christmas.  I think there’s value in actually holding photos in your hands that are bigger than a phone.  But that’s just an old lady talking.  5×7 spiral photo books are inexpensive and hold up to toddlers.

Thinking back over the months, I like noting what was especially enjoyable.  Could something similar to those experiences be planned for this year?  Maybe we can’t do it just like last year, but some elements of that experience could be planned.  For instance, we can’t do a cross country trip again, but we could do several short trips to beautiful places.  What a wonderful thing it’d be if we could see dear friends on these trips.

Being with our adult children and grandchildren gave us such joy.  Those memories serve as motivation to keep them top priority in our schedules this coming year. Remembering they are the whole reason we moved across the country helps us keep our priorities in order.  I hear some of you snorting.  Your experience with your offspring wasn’t joyful this past year.  I can identify with you.  Those of you who know me well, know that for years a mention of our kids brought tears.  Seeing the painful results of their bad choices broke our hearts.  I don’t have answers, but I know we must keep praying for them and for heart protection for ourselves.  We must guard our hearts by not dwelling on our grief or spend our emotional energy in worry.   Set boundaries knowing our limited emotional and financial resources.  Trust our heavenly Father who knows what having prodigals feels like.  Remember that every human being makes their own decisions and will stand before God for those decisions.  Not one of us had perfect parents nor were we perfect parents.  Being humble with our kids and admitting the mistakes I’m aware of opens communication.  Being respectful and recognizing they are no longer under our authority (if they are adults) shows I acknowledge they’re responsible for their own lives.  Keeping my mouth shut and not offering advice is my greatest challenge, but required if my adult kids are to mature and lead their own families.

I am taking time this new year to flip back thru the year’s pleasant memories and soak in the happiness. What did I do right?  What were the happy results of honoring my priorities?  What was gratifying?  What made me sigh with contentment?  Which memories glow with eternal importance?  What moments stand out with the feeling that I was doing what I was meant for? What relationships got better this year?  What did I do that helped someone else in their journey?  What are your happy memories?  Why not take time to recycle the joy?

A big thing I did right was to move close to family and make them a priority in my life.  So many meaningful moments come to mind that originates with that one obedience.  I even have memories that glow with eternal significance: Discussing with a teen granddaughter how the Bible teaches us to live instead of how the culture teaches us to live, reading a Bible story to a little one, listening to a preschooler express fear and faith.  Deepening relationships are costly in time and effort, but the best investment I can make. I get the feeling that writing this blog is the intersection of the giftings I’ve been given. I’m using those talents, risking, putting them out there and not burying them.  Sometimes I’m encouraged by a note from a reader telling me they have been helped by reading this blog. Remembering the rewards motivates me to get better at doing the right thing.  These good outcomes make me eager to obey in the year ahead.

I know, I know.  Not everything was wine and roses last year.  It’s uplifting to remind ourselves of the good times, but what do we do with the hard times, the pain, the disappointments, many of which are on-going and dogging our steps as we enter the new year?  How do we address our grief, our loss, our anger, our fear?  We go to the ancient Scriptures that have comforted hurting hearts for millennia and the unchanging, merciful God who inspired them.  Our lives play across the stage and we exit.  We need a higher view than our own.  I hang on for dear life to sections of the Bible that keep me afloat in sorrow, uncertainty, and pain.  May I share of few of them?

God cares.  He knows all about my troubles.

“Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.”  I Peter 5:7

“Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.”  Jesus in Luke 12:6-7

I’m not alone.  God is with me.

“Jesus replied, “Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them. “All this I have spoken while still with you.  But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.  Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”  John 14:23-27

God is good.  His plans for me are good.

“Yes, and the Lord will deliver me from every evil attack and will bring me safely into his heavenly Kingdom. All glory to God forever and ever! Amen.”  Paul in 2 Timothy 4:18

“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”  Romans 12:2

“You parents—if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead?  Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not!  So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him.” Jesus in Matthew 7:9-11

I can’t fix it.  I’m not in control of other people.  Their outcome is in their hands. Each one will be called to account for what he or she has done and what he or she has believed.

“For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each of us may receive what is due us for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad.”  2 Corinthians 5:10

“And I saw the dead, great and small, standing before the throne, and books were opened. Another book was opened, which is the book of life. The dead were judged according to what they had done as recorded in the books. … and each person was judged according to what they had done…Anyone whose name was not found written in the book of life was thrown into the lake of fire. “  Revelation 20:12-13  (This sounds harsh, but I’m not in charge; Someone wiser is.)

I can’t carry it.  He didn’t intend for me to be worn out with worry.

“So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs.  Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.

So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.”  Matthew 6:31-34

Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”  Jesus in Matthew 11:29-30

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”  Paul in Philippians 4:6-7

God gives me strength.  I can get through this life with him.

“Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have.  I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little.  For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.” Paul in Philippians 4:11-13

God will fix it all one day.  I have hope and look forward to good times that won’t end or be clouded with trouble.

“Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me.  There is more than enough room in my Father’s home. If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am.”  Jesus in John 14:1-3

“Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!”  Revelation 21:3-5