I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the word willing. Willing was my mother’s middle name which always seemed strange to me. For some reason, I never asked my mother, who passed when I was a teenager, why she was named Willing. But recently the word keeps coming to mind.  I want to say to God, “I’m willing.” I want to be willing to do whatever he sets before me- even if it’s being present while dear Husband’s father finishes his race of life. I want to be willing to be at peace with what God takes from me. I want to be willing to speak up for him when given the opportunity. I want to be willing to honor others- even when they’re weak.

I’m finding out that being willing often means keeping a loose grip. Being willing to honor others means keeping a loose grip on my opinions. I have to be willing to let go of my opinions, my quick conclusions, my trigger-happy negative assessments. The other day my dear dying father-in-law said something that seemed totally nonsensical. I was very quick to assume he was out of his mind- which he is sometimes because he’s dying. But it turns out he was just repeating the words to a song that was popular in his younger years. He was teasing us and enjoying the joke! I’m learning to stop for a minute and try to get more information before I pass judgment on someone’s behavior. When can you take a deep breath and ask a clarifying question before you decide if someone is crazy or not? or wrong or not?  or being difficult or not?

I’m learning that I must be willing to keep a loose grip on my plans. Watching my father-in-law go through the dying process has reminded me in stark terms that things change and come to an end. The plans I have for today or next week may not be what’s truly important. I have to be willing to let go and choose what matters today. Where can you be more flexible with your time?

I’m learning that I must be willing to keep a loose grip on people. We were really enjoying babysitting a four-year-old one day a week. However, the situation changed. I was missing her and feeling sad that we didn’t get to see her. But I soon realized that God was providing for her and also us by withholding our time with her. We suddenly needed to be with dear Husband’s dad in his dying days and couldn’t have babysat. We’re learning to keep a loose grip on Dad. We’ve released him so he can go home to Jesus. Keeping a loose grip on people is also helpful when they disappoint us. We can’t insist that anyone do what we think they should. We have to allow them autonomy- the right to make their own decisions. Who do you need to release?

I’m learning that I must be willing to keep a loose grip on my pride. I’ve often said that raising kids cures pride. Dear Husband and I found out we didn’t know as much as we thought we did! There’s no formula for raising kids. And they managed to embarrass us if we ever got to thinking we were pretty good parents. Keeping a loose grip on our pride means we try things that have no guarantee of success. It means we attempt things out of our comfort zone. It means we humbly become learners. I’m teaching one class at a homeschool co-op. I was volunteered by a dear friend to teach photography. I felt pretty much up to the challenge. After all, I was a professional photographer for over 40 years. And I had taught multiple photography classes. But it turns out my students are shooting with their phones, not cameras. So here I am, a dummy when it comes to phone cameras! Yikes! What do I do? I quickly devour an iPhone camera course. I’m in new territory and struggling to learn enough to share with 6 eager girls each week. It’s humbling. I learned that parenting and teaching are both humbling experiences that I wouldn’t trade for the world. What new endeavor are you willing to humble you?

I’m learning that I must be willing to keep a loose grip on being right. Listening to others’ suggestions requires humility and an open mind. Surprise, I might not know everything! Someone else might have a better idea. Hmmmm. Also, I’m learning not to say, “I told you so.” And I’m learning to thank others when they correct me. (Especially dear Husband.). This all comes in handy when a student shows me something I didn’t know. Gulp.

As always, we have examples in the Bible. We have the negative/positive example of Jonah who refused to be willing to obey God until he had a near death experience. We have the example of Moses who also was unwilling to accept God’s job until God gave him the help of his brother and a ‘magic’ staff. We have the example of Saul who hid in the baggage when he was supposed to be coronated. We have the example of Isaiah who when confronted with the glory of God, willingly said, “Here am I. Send me.” And we have the supreme example of our Lord Jesus when facing the horrors of dying on the cross still said to the Father, “Not my will, but yours.” Being willing automatically includes sacrifice. We give up our own plans, our people, our pride, our opinions so we can be obedient to God. The good news is that being willing to obey opens the door to a beautifully rich life full of God’s blessings.