He strutted into the exam room with a long, white lab coat and an attitude. He proceeded to lecture us and became defensive when we brought up evidence and experiences that contradicted his prideful opinions. Arrogance is ugly. We all dislike it and so does God.

 

“As he (King Nebuchadnezzar) looked out across the city, he said, ‘Look at this great city of Babylon! By my own mighty power, I have built this beautiful city as my royal residence to display my majestic splendor.’ While these words were still in his mouth, a voice called down from heaven, ‘O King Nebuchadnezzar, this message is for you! You are no longer ruler of this kingdom. You will be driven from human society. You will live in the fields with the wild animals, and you will eat grass like a cow. Seven periods of time will pass while you live this way, until you learn that the Most High rules over the kingdoms of the world and gives them to anyone he chooses.’ . . .  After this time had passed, I, Nebuchadnezzar, looked up to heaven. My sanity returned, and I praised and worshiped the Most High and honored the one who lives forever. . . Now I, Nebuchadnezzar, praise and glorify and honor the King of heaven. All his acts are just and true, and he is able to humble the proud.” Daniel 4:30-32, 34, 37

Humility is a beautiful thing, giving God his proper place, deepening relationships, and allowing the free interchange of ideas. What are some signs that we are growing in this quality?
Humility enables us to receive input from others without being defensive. If our first reaction is to argue, we aren’t being humble. If we get angry and lash out, it reveals pride. If we deflect away from our need to change and place blame on someone else, we aren’t being humble. Humility accepts input and processes it thoughtfully, assuming the trusted person has our best interests in mind, and that they are seeing something we haven’t. Humility is willing to see our faults and work on correcting them. Pride refuses to admit any guilt and insists on continuing on the present course. Humility deepens relationships; pride destroys relationships.

An adult daughter recently ruefully said, “I’m doing everything I said I would never do.” Fortunately, the conversation was about owning a new pet! They had just purchased a puppy who had won her heart and she was so enamored that she was going against her preconceived ideas about being a pet owner. I commented, “Well, if our kids don’t humble us, our pets will.” And I might add- old age will certainly humble us. Humility allows us to reconsider preconceived ideas and gives us the freedom to do things differently. We don’t have an image to uphold or an agenda to defend.

On the note of less serious ways we grow in humility- Have you ever had a great idea? Only to bounce it off someone (spouse) who immediately points out a fact that makes you realize your idea is a) a really bad idea, b) not practical, c) came from Venus? With further discussion and adjustments, it may be workable or you see the only sane thing to do is drop it.
The interchange of ideas refines them. No one knows everything. Examining an idea through the lens of others’ experiences and wisdom brings out both the merits and flaws. We humbly accept that trusted people know some things we don’t. And we listen respectfully.
We’re exercising humility when we respect authority. In our family, I’m learning to ask clearly and specifically without ‘beating around the bush’, waiting for him to figure out what I want, or assuming he should read my mind. It takes humility to ask and it takes humility to respond generously. Dear Husband humbly hears my ideas and processes them thoughtfully. He patiently hears me out, asks questions, and gives his perspective. But if he is completely opposed to an idea after we’ve discussed it, I concede to his authority as head of the household and honor his decision. This chain of command brings peace. But rebellion and selfish insistence on my own way brings strife.
These principles apply to other relationships outside the family. It carries over to the church, friendships, and even the workplace.
We are happier and blessed when we humble ourselves under God and to each other. Both Peter and James quote from Proverbs, reminding us to be continually humble.

“And all of you, dress yourselves in humility as you relate to one another, for
‘God opposes the proud
 but gives grace to the humble.’ (Proverbs 3:34)
So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor.” 1 Peter 5:5-6

It takes humility to put your ideas in front of another. It takes humility to patiently, thoughtfully listen, and give honest but loving input to others’ ideas.  Even the great Apostle Paul who wrote half the books of the New Testament  and planted most of the early churches was careful to submit questions that arose to the leaders of the church in Jerusalem so they could give their ruling on the issue. Then fourteen years into his successful preaching ministry, he still checked in with the leaders in Jerusalem to make sure they were in agreement with his message to the Gentiles. This exhibits great humility and willingness to be accountable to those in authority.

“Paul went with us to meet with James, and all the elders of the Jerusalem church were present. After greeting them, Paul gave a detailed account of the things God had accomplished among the Gentiles through his ministry. After hearing this, they praised God.” Acts 21:18-20

“Then fourteen years later I went back to Jerusalem again, this time with Barnabas; and Titus came along, too.  I went there because God revealed to me that I should go. While I was there I met privately with those considered to be leaders of the church and shared with them the message I had been preaching to the Gentiles. I wanted to make sure that we were in agreement, for fear that all my efforts had been wasted and I was running the race for nothing. And they supported me . . . “Galatians 2:1-3

Self-examination Questions:
Do I humbly seek the advice and approval of those in authority over me?
Do I humbly ask for input from those who are mature, trustworthy, and loving?
Or do I ask those who will agree with me because they want to keep the peace?
Do I listen to advice without becoming defensive and blaming others?
Do I listen patiently and carefully to others’ ideas before giving my opinion?
Do I give my opinion respectfully?