The tenderness of Jesus even under the worst circumstances is astounding. This is the account by an eyewitness of what happened as Jesus was nearing death. The interchange between Jesus hanging on the cross and his mother, and Jesus and his best friend was recorded by the one spoken to – John.

“Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother, his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to her, “Woman, here is your son,” and to the disciple, “Here is your mother.” From that time on, this disciple took her into his home.” John 19:25-27

Jesus had been suffering for nearly six hours. He had completed most of the prophecies of the suffering Messiah in the Old Testament. He had only one more prophecy to fulfill. But before his final act of obedience to his Father, he wanted to care for his mother. He couldn’t offer her an inheritance. The one thing he had possessed, his clothing, had been taken by the soldiers as their tip for doing their grisly duty. But he had a plan for his mother’s care. He entrusted her to his best friend who had proven his devotion, courage, commitment, and love.  So after providing for his mother, he completed his last assignment.

“Afterwards, Jesus knew that everything was now finished, and to fulfill Scripture he said, “I am thirsty.”  A jar of sour wine was sitting there, so they soaked a sponge in it, put it on a hyssop branch, and held it up to his lips. When Jesus had tasted it, he said, “It is finished!” Then he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.” John 19:28-30. (Messianic prophecies from Psalm 22:15, 69:21 “My strength has dried up like sunbaked clay.  My tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth.”   “They offer me sour wine for my thirst.”)

Mary was safe living with John who was the closest friend of her son. He was steadfast and brave being the only disciple to stay with Jesus after his arrest. He alone of the disciples was present at the crucifixion supporting his beloved Friend and his Friend’s mother.  Soon he would become the leader alongside Peter, of the new Church that would turn the world upside down.

Maybe Jesus wanted his mother to live in Jerusalem and participate in the early church. If she had lived in Nazareth she would have missed out on seeing the enormous impact of her son’s life and death. Being involved in the first church allowed her to see her Son’s legacy carried on. She would have been honored and held in high regard among the believers. She participated in group prayer, the meetings of believers, and grew in her understanding under the teaching of Peter and John. She may have discipled young women. She probably helped care for John as her adopted son and must have shared her memories of her firstborn Son with him.

Apparently, Joseph, Mary’s husband, had already died. We don’t know who Mary was living with during the time of Jesus’ ministry. Perhaps being himself unmarried, he had worked at his trade and provided for her until he began his itinerate preaching. We do know that she and at least two sons had gone to collect Jesus because they considered him ‘out of his mind’ when he was so pressed by people wanting to be healed and taught that he didn’t even have time to eat. (Mark 3:20-21). Her relationship with her sons may have become strained because of their continued unbelief and their mockery of their elder brother.  (John 7:1-5)

We know that his siblings didn’t believe he was the Son of God during his earthly lifetime. His brothers, particularly James, however, had a change of heart after meeting the risen Jesus after his resurrection. They would have been in Jerusalem for Passover and known about, or even witnessed their brother being killed by jealous religious leaders. To be confronted by a living brother who had unquestionably been dead was a life-altering experience! (“Then he [Jesus] appeared to James, then to all the apostles”. 1 Corinthians 15:7). James immediately joined the believers and eventually became a leader in the Jerusalem church alongside Peter and John. Later, he negotiated a peaceful agreement between the Jewish Christians in Jerusalem and Paul, the evangelist to the Gentiles. History records that he was martyred in 62 AD. Mary would have been proud of her son, James.

John was probably in his twenties when he followed Jesus. Being a follower of John the Baptist, he heard John declare that Jesus was the Messiah. Young John wanted to get to know Jesus so he spent a day with him near the Jordan River where John baptized. The following day he left with Jesus to attend a wedding in Cana where he saw the miracle of water turned to wine at his mother’s request. He spent some more time with Jesus, his mother, and brothers in Capernaum after the wedding. Then he returned to his parent’s home in Bethsaida on the Sea of Galilee to help his father and their hired help in their thriving fishing business. His mother may have been related to the mother of Jesus. When Jesus knew it was time to begin his public ministry, he went and got John and his brother, James, as well as Peter and his brother, Andrew. For the next three years, John spent day and night with Jesus who became John’s best friend. John was one of the inner circle closest to Jesus. Peter, James, and John were chosen to witness the raising of Jairus’ daughter, the shining transfiguration, and the dark hour of Gethsemane.

It seems that John’s family was prosperous and likely owned a second home in Jerusalem where they stayed during the feasts. They had connections with an influential family that controlled the political/religious activities of the Jews in Jerusalem. This would prove to give John access to the place where Jesus was taken after his arrest for his first trial. When Jesus assigned John to care for his mother, Mary, he knew she would be well cared for physically, spiritually, and emotionally.

So what does all this have to you, dear reader? I can only tell you how studying these passages has affected me. When issues have come up in my life, my mind goes to a Savior who cares. I picture his tenderness toward his grieving mother. I see him not as a benefactor far removed, but as one sufferer to another. He experienced  the sorrows of life . . . and death.  I take comfort in the fact that he knows my needs as well as the future. He arranges people and circumstances as he knows is best for me. His loving heart understands my aches, my longings, and my needs. And he kindly provides.