When I was a teenager (ages ago!) I lived with an old aunt who inadvertently taught me a valuable lesson. She often said with a sigh, “If only.” Usually, it was, “If only he would have _____.” Sometimes it was, “If only I felt better.” Or, “If only we had _______.” Her sighing and wishing made me squirm. Why was she making herself miserable? It felt like there was a cloud of gloom over the house. Her whining made me want to run. Didn’t she know God is in control, working things out, even negative things, for our good? Someday he might change her circumstances, but in the meantime, I wished she could be content and trust God. And find things to be grateful for!

We’ve all known someone who is a habitual complainer. Chances are, they’re hard to be around because their negativity drags everyone around them down. Some complainers find something negative to say about everything. They can find fault even with nice things they should be enjoying like a good meal or a party! Other complainers have a genuinely serious problem they’re facing and we feel sympathy or even empathy for them. And then there are the times we are the complainers! We grumble to ourselves or others and single-handedly create a dark cloud over our own heads. We find fault with someone or something. Or we doubt there could be a good outcome to our problem. We get bogged down in the mud of self-pity and the mire of ingratitude.

Every one of us can quickly slide into this pit of negativity. So I’ve made a list of words to guard against. I got this list from Exodus 16,17, and 18 which tells us stories of how God’s people responded to serious problems they suffered in the desert. They had genuine life and death needs that were delayed in being met- repeatedly! That’s surely enough to wear you down. But instead of taking their problems to God in faith trusting him to provide, they complained about their situation, their leaders, and God. “God has heard all your complaints against him. Who are we? Yes, your grumbling is against the Lord, not against us.”  Moses in Exodus 16:8. When we complain, we are actually complaining about how God is taking care of us.  We are blinded by our big needs and don’t see the bigger Provider.  “Suffering from thirst, they grumbled against Moses.  They said, ‘Why…?”  Exodus 17:3

Below is a list of grumbling statements that God’s people made. Let’s be on guard so we don’t do the same.
You know you’re complaining when you say:
If only __________.
We used to have it better.
Why?
It’s my leader’s fault things are bad.
Where is God? He hasn’t fixed this.
I wish I had _________.
Poor me. I don’t deserve this. I deserve better.
I would be happy if ______.
Nothing good can come out of this problem.
Others (and God) better do what I want.
We’re going to die! (Or other worst-case scenarios.)

Trade faith statements for complaints:
Instead of, “If only” say, “Thank you, God. You are good. You give good gifts. You have my best in mind.”
Instead of, “We used to” say, “I’m thankful you’re helping me right now, Lord.”
Instead of, “Why?” say, “I trust your good plan, God.”
Instead of “It’s my spouse’s/kids’ fault say “God, you are in control. Help me search my own heart.”
Instead of, “Where is God?!” say, “Thank you, Lord, that you promised to never leave me.”
Instead of, “I wish I had” say, ”Thank you, God, for the many things you have already given me. Thank you that you’re going to keep taking care of me.”
Instead of demanding, humbly pray, “Lord, your will be done, not mine.”
Instead of, “Poor me.” say, “God takes good care of me. He gives me everything I need.”
Instead of, “I’d be happy if,” say, “I’m truly happy when I’m pleasing God.”
Instead of, “Nothing good can come out of this,” say, “I believe that God can bring beauty out of ashes. He’s my Redeemer. Everything works together for my good when I’m obeying.”
Instead of, “We’re going to die!” say, “I’m safe in God’s hands. He keeps my soul safe from evil. He’s guiding my every step.”

Remedies for complaining:
~Remember that God is listening to your words. Make sure they are words of faith.  “Then those who respected the LORD talked with each other, and the LORD listened and heard.” Malachi 3:16
~Tell God all your worries, requests, and frustrations just like Moses did. “Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.” Philippians 4:6
~Ask for God’s will to be done instead of insisting on what you want.
~Ask him to show you any wrong attitudes you’re harboring. “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.”  Psalm 139:23
~Spend time with others who are seeking and serving God. Like Jethro joining the leaders of Israel for worship and fellowship.
~Pray with and for others like Aaron and Hur who held up Moses’ arms of supplication so Israel could win the battle.
~Listen/read how God helped others like  who Jethro listened delightedly to the stories of how God helped Moses bring the people out of Egypt and through the desert.
~Share your God stories of how God helped you in the past and recently like Moses who told of God’s deliverance and making God the hero of the story, not himself.
~Listen to advice from godly people like Moses who humbly listened to Jethro’s suggestion about delegating administrative duties.
Help a friend/family member when they’re in a tough spot like Aaron and Hur who gave Moses something to sit on, supported him, and helped him endure so the battle could be won.
~Spend time reading the Scriptures. Then think about it during the day (and night when you can’t sleep). “they find happiness in the   teaching of the Lord, and they think about it day and night.” Psalm 1:2
~Listen to spiritually uplifting music.  “speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.”Ephesians 5:19-20
~Be on guard for a complaining attitude. God tested his people by temporarily withholding things to see if they would trust him. “I tested your faith when there was no water at Meribah.” Psalm 81:7
~Cultivate a grateful heart by saying, “Thank you,” often both to God and to others. “Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:18
~Bite your tongue when you’re tempted to blame. Take responsibility for your own part and pray for others involved. “The people blamed Moses and said, “If only we had died …”. Numbers 20:3
~Be obedient even in small, daily things so your happiness will grow. “If you obey the Lord, you will be happy, but there is no future for the wicked.” Proverbs 10:28
~Practice contentment. “I am not complaining about having too little. I have learned to be satisfied with whatever I have. I know what it is to be poor or to have plenty…. Christ gives me the strength to face anything.” Philippians 4:11-13
~Trust God’s good intentions toward you. He is a kind, faithful Provider as he proved to Moses and his people. “ And this same God … will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19