When I was growing up in the 1950’s, it was common for wives to stay at home and take care of children. Of course, there were working women like my mother, but many women were content to be what we called housewives. It was socially acceptable and honored to be a woman whose main job was staying home taking care of those in her household. Many women had what we now call side hustles and some even ran home businesses so they could earn some money ‘on the side’. It was considered desirable for a mother to be home when her children came home from school. I admired this concept so much that I often went home from school with my best friend so I could enjoy her mom and four siblings. My apartment was empty since I had no siblings and it would be 6:00 pm till my tired mom could come home from work. As a child, I noticed that the stay-at-home moms had the time to volunteer, care for their elderly parents, take food to the sick, cook meals from scratch, garden, sew, help neighbors, have people over, etc. Not to mention care for babies and pre-schoolers, and give attention to their older children since big families weren’t disapproved of. Yes, I know some stay-at-home moms were lazy and self-indulgent just as some working women were lazy and shirked their job responsibilities. But my best friend’s mom was my model of the ideal mom and I aspired to be like her. This isn’t to say that this is the only way to be a good mom.
The Bible honors women who were wives and mothers. (As well as single or childless women, BTW.) In fact, the New Testament church provided for widows without children or grandchildren to provide for them. We would call it social welfare now. In order to qualify to be supported by their church, a woman needed to meet certain standards. This list is still an excellent guide for what we women should aspire to. Here it is:
“. . .faithful to her husband. She must be well respected by everyone because of the good she has done. Has she brought up her children well? Has she been kind to strangers and served other believers humbly? Has she helped those who are in trouble? Has she always been ready to do good?” 1 Timothy 5:10
Doing good seems a bit vague, but that allows for differences in times, places, personalities, and cultures. Different epochs and cultures gave women different opportunities, protections, and respect. Doing good took different forms in different times. In our times, women make important contributions in all fields of endeavor. Any work that is done with honesty, morality, truth, kindness, and love and contributes to the betterment of people’s lives is good works. Education, the medical field, the arts, and service industries come to mind as well as so many more. Each godly woman must decide how, where, and when God wants her to use her gifts in the home and outside. What is clear is that godly women took care of their own family as well as those who needed help.
Bringing up children- we live in a time when having children is optional and not necessarily desirable. Our national population is declining except for immigrants. Raising children takes unselfishness, resources, and time which seem to be in short supply. But the young marrieds who want to please God know that children are his blessing and they are worth sacrifice. We older women can encourage younger women when they are struggling with the work of raising children. We can compliment them on the positive things we see in their children. We can share stories of raising our own children. We can babysit. We can invite them and their family to our homes for a meal or just dessert or a picnic. They need some friend time and may not be able to afford restaurants and babysitters.
Strangers- some translations say offering hospitality to strangers. This is controlled by safety, of course, and isn’t limited to welcoming strangers into our homes. We can be kind and welcoming to those who are new in any place we frequent. Church, school, town, organization, or friend group. Reaching out with kindness and including them is a character quality that our children learn by our example. And sometimes we learn from theirs! Welcoming outsiders can be a family activity, too. About 15 years ago our church educated us on the fact that thousands of foreign students attend US universities every year. 85% of them never enter an American home. We were shocked and saddened and determined that we would do our part to fix the problem. That was the beginning of so many happy meals with brilliant young international students. Now that they are graduated, married, and have children, we are guests in their homes! We have friends who are retired and use their time to meet the needs of immigrants, both material and otherwise. We have moved so many times that I can attest to the fact that the women who reached out with a hand of friendship and hospitality made a huge difference in our lives and I know the Lord noticed.
Helping those in trouble- There’s a lady in our church who has raised six children and now she babysits her many grandchildren a lot. But somehow she finds time to make chicken soup for the sick in our church. What a welcome sight to sick eyes is seeing her kind smile and a container of soup! We have been the recipients and it felt good to know someone cares and to have a healthy, fast meal when we weren’t up to cooking for ourselves. Another friend has gone for years to the women’s prison in our area and taught women who wanted to learn about the Bible. Another friend takes care of two-year-old triplets once a week since they were born to relieve their single mother. Another friend volunteers weekly at a pregnancy care center for women and men in a hard place in their lives.
Serving other believers humbly- the literal translation is “washing the feet of saints”. In other words, doing jobs that aren’t glamorous or likely to be acknowledged for the sole purpose of benefitting other believers. Because our church is small, families take turns cleaning the building each week. This is a perfect example of doing humble work to benefit other believers. They have had a good example of serving. During the long process of building a much-needed addition to our church, our pastor would come after the workmen from the church had finished for the day and clean up the construction debris and mess so they could start fresh the next day. Menial jobs are mostly thankless, but so necessary for well-being as any diaper-changing mom can tell you. Mothers perform a lot of menial jobs for the benefit of their families which is a hallmark of the virtuous woman.
Please don’t let this list discourage you if you’re a young mother! It was written as a guideline to emulate throughout our lifetimes. There will be time for all of these during the course of our lives as long as we make them a priority in the different seasons of life. Children first. Happy Mother’s Day!
I have always loved your photo with your dear mother. What a beautiful and treasured memory
Thank you for sharing
Who is woman alone with blond/ gray hair?
I’m always curious about the great photos!
Happy Mother’s Day!!! Love always, Joy
Only a friend would remember that the photo is of my dear mother. The sweet woman with gray hair is a close friend who embodies the virtues in this blog. We now live a continent apart, but her influence is still felt. Thank you for being a faithful friend all these years. Happy, happy Mother’s Day, dear Joy!
The Timothy passage is certainly a great guide – to doing good and helps us become the women God would want us to be.
What a privilege !
Yes, amen! Good thing we don’t have to do these things on our own.