Many years ago there was a young couple who left their homeland with three young children and a pregnant wife to live for an indefinite period of time in a country across the ocean.  When they arrived in a teeming city of 6 million, they were completely out of their element.  They were country folk who felt swallowed up by such a busy metropolis.  They couldn’t communicate because they were just beginning language study.  Their children struggled to adapt to the new schedule of mom being gone for part of the day for study.  Enter a friend for the mother and a friend for the dad.  The young woman patiently helped the mom learn the language.  She became like a sister.  The two young women loved each other dearly.  The young man stimulated the dad by asking thoughtful questions and discussing the Bible.  At the end of six months, the family had to leave for their assignment on another island in a remote jungle location.  To their surprise and relief, the young woman offered to accompany them to help them get settled.  What a joy for the mom to have a companion with whom to enter this new unknown!  Did I mention that the friend was by now engaged to be married to the young man?  So she gave up time with her beloved before their wedding to help the family.  She also gave up the conveniences of city life including running water for the rigors of the jungle.  The isolation and homesickness were crushing for her yet she remained loyally assisting until the family was settled.  Then she returned home to get married.

Think of a time in your life when you were facing some big challenges.  Did you have a friend who came alongside and made your journey better?  What did they do that helped you cope?  We are wired to do life with others so it’s wonderful when we have a loyal friend to walk with us!

I love a story in the Old Testament about a friendship that had eternal implications. One young man befriended another young man who was to become king.  The future king’s life was threatened multiple times but the friend intervened and saved his life.  Eventually, the young man did become king- the most famous king in that nation’s history. We find out that the friend’s loyalty impacted not only his generation, but the generations to come. It turns out that the Messiah was to be the offspring of this famous King.  And so, at the right time centuries later, the prophesied descendant of King David was born in David’s hometown.  In the ensuing two millennia, millions have put their faith in this son of David.  So we can be grateful for Jonathan, the young man who saved King David, the progenitor of Jesus the Messiah.

Prior to David becoming king, there were tumultuous years of his life being threatened by his predecessor, King Saul.  Saul was murderously jealous of young David.  But the bright spot was the friendship David had with Saul’s son, Jonathan. This loyal and loving friendship started the day youthful David killed the giant.  After David succeeded in overcoming the battle-hardened, massive foe, King Saul sent for David.  Jonathan heard the conversation his father, King Saul, had with the teenage hero who still clutched the head of Goliath.

“After David had finished talking with Saul, Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself. Jonathan took off the robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his tunic, and even his sword, his bow and his belt.”  1 Samuel 18:1,4

In the years following, King Saul repeatedly attempted to kill David.  But Jonathan always tried to make peace and bring David back into his father’s good graces.  Finally, however, Jonathan warned David to flee permanently. 

“And Jonathan made David reaffirm his vow of friendship again, for Jonathan loved David as he loved himself. 
Both of them were in tears as they embraced each other and said good-bye, especially David.  At last, Jonathan said to David, “Go in peace, for we have sworn loyalty to each other in the Lord’s name. The Lord is the witness of a bond between us and our children forever.” Then David left, and Jonathan returned to the town.”  1 Samuel 20:17,41-42

David became a refugee as he evaded Saul’s army, hiding in various wilderness locations always just one step ahead of his pursuer.  Even then, Jonathan was able to see his beloved friend one last time.

“Jonathan went to find David and encouraged him to stay strong in his faith in God.   “Don’t be afraid,” he said. “My father Saul will not lay a hand on you. You will be king over Israel, and I will be second to you. Even my father Saul knows this.”  The two of them made a covenant before the Lord. Then Jonathan went home, but David remained at Horesh.”  1 Samuel 23:16-18

Sometime later, King Saul engaged a large enemy force in a lopsided battle in which he and his son, Jonathan, were killed.  For David, this meant that the man who had been trying to take his life was gone.  But it also meant he had lost his best friend and supporter.  He wrote a lament for him.

“Jonathan lies dead on the hills.
How I weep for you, my brother Jonathan!
Oh, how much I loved you!
And your love for me was deep. . .”  2 Samuel 1:25-26

Jonathan was the rare kind of friend who loved David as much as he loved himself.  In fact, he was willing to take second place because he believed God would elevate David to the highest place.  This humility came from trusting that God knows best therefore he never sought to advance himself into the position of king.  He committed himself to the friendship even tho it strained his relationship with his father.  He faithfully lived up to his vow of loyalty to David.  Had it not been for Jonathan’s intervention/intercession David would have been killed.  David eventually did become king over all of Judah and Israel and when he did, he fulfilled his vow to Jonathan by providing for Jonathan’s crippled son.

So if you’re like me, you’re saying to yourself.  I sure wish I had a friend like Jonathan.  I’d have someone to stand up for me, mediate for me, encourage me, even give me useful gifts, and include me in their family.  It would be wonderful to have such a loyal and selfless friend looking out for me and cheering for me.  But when I thought about it, I realized what I should be wishing for.  Not ‘I want a friend like this.  But ‘I want to be a friend like this.’  How can I become the kind of friend that delights in another person getting ahead even if it means surpassing me?  How can I take care of others as well as I take care of myself?  How can I encourage someone in their faith?  How can I stand up for them when anyone criticizes them?  How can I be a fully committed friend?  What would that look like in my relationships with my family and friends?  Fortunately for me, I have a very good role model right in front of me.  Dear Husband lives out these qualities daily.  I’m so blessed.

How can we be loving friends to our family and others this week?

PS. The young family in the story was us and the friends were Mary and Budi Santoso who went on to serve as missionaries to their own country for more than twice as long as we served.

*David and Jonathan illustration from Scripture Press 1948, Chicago