A friend of ours died 3 days ago as of this writing.  He had been healthy and active.  He loved Jesus deeply.  It was his joy to talk about the Bible with his friends and family.  He served his wife and family faithfully with a heart full of love.  He was unselfish, gentle, and deeply committed to his family. He and his wife were in our small group Bible study.  He never missed church.    

I have to admit that I went to a dark place when we realized he wasn’t going to make it.  I went to the “if only” place.  If only he …., if only we …., if only, if only.

 It reminded me of the story in the Bible of Martha and Mary who said, “If only …”. Martha, Mary, and their brother, Lazarus were three adult siblings who were a tight-knit family.  As far as we know, none of them had married.  The two sisters lived together, possibly with their brother.  But the brother died suddenly after a short illness.  While he was sick, the sisters had sent a frantic message to Jesus to come right away and fix their brother, but Jesus hadn’t come in time to heal him and prevent his death.  The sisters were devastated.  They had tried their best to get the help they knew their brother needed.  But their efforts had been in vain and he had slipped away.

Now, after it was too late, Jesus arrived.  One sister, Martha, went out to greet her approaching Lord.  But the first words out of her mouth sounded like a rebuke.  My paraphrase- “If only you wouldn’t have let us down.  But even now we still believe you can help us.”

“If only . . .  But even now”.  We flinch at Martha’s boldness to spill out her feelings.  She was completely honest and admitted her disappointment in Jesus for not showing up when they needed him.  Yet, in spite of her feelings of abandonment, she still held onto hope.  Maybe Jesus would do something now for it was surely in his power to help.  Aren’t we the same when our requests aren’t granted? We wonder why God didn’t come through for us. But we still hang onto faith that he can do something even after things have gone badly.

Jesus, ever patient, didn’t respond harshly to her accusation.  Instead, he gently instructed her. In fact, he already had a plan to help.  But first, he shared an important truth that would see her through the heartaches and losses she would endure during the rest of her lifetime.

This truth was the secret to peace in the face of disappointment and death.  Wondering if I’m exaggerating?  Making much of a minor quote from Jesus? I’ll let you judge.  Here’s the basic idea:

The things we yearn for are found in Jesus.  We yearn to be with our departed loved ones.  We will join them in heaven if they died in faith.  We yearn for God’s kind involvement in our lives because many things are beyond our control.  When we live trusting in Jesus, he does show up in our every day.  Here’s an example our friend’s widow shared.  One day shortly after her husband’s death, she was hungry and wondered what she would eat.    Just then, the phone rang and it was a friend offering to bring a meal.  It was a sign to her that God was taking care of her even in the details.

“Martha said to Jesus, “Lord, if only you had been here, my brother would not have died. But even now I know that God will give you whatever you ask.” 
Jesus told her, “Your brother will rise again.”
“Yes,” Martha said, “he will rise when everyone else rises, at the last day.”
Jesus told her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Anyone who believes in me will live, even after dying.  Everyone who lives in me and believes in me will never ever die. Do you believe this, Martha?”
“Yes, Lord,” she told him. “I have always believed you are the Messiah, the Son of God, the one who has come into the world from God.”

. . . Then Jesus wept.  The people who were standing nearby said, “See how much he loved him!”  But some said, “This man healed a blind man. Couldn’t he have kept Lazarus from dying?” John 11:21-27, 35-37

Those who believe in Jesus will die, but their lives with him will actually keep on going after death.  All those in Jesus will also experience getting a new body that will be worthy of the eternal life they already have.  All this happy news is because Jesus is our life-giver.  When we have him, we have life that is meaningful here and goes on to surpass death.  He is always gentle to those who grieve. He feels our pain and he stands with us right in the middle of hard times.  He is our ever-present comfort and hope.  He shows up and he shows himself to us.

Our “only ifs” are quieted when we look at Jesus. He is what we need. We know our friend has gone on from this life to the next, better life.  We feel happy for him but grieve for his widow, children, and grandchildren.  Many of them are comforted by the fact that their husband/ father/grandfather is living after dying because he trusted the Life-Giver.  They are looking forward to joining him when the time comes.  In the meantime, they are depending on God to see them through because they are trusting that Jesus is right beside them.