When you’re feeling sad or discouraged what do you do?
  1. Eat chocolate
  2. Go online 
  3. Go shopping
  4. Go for a walk
  5.  Talk to a friend
  6.  Clean
  7.  Keep trying to do the task at hand, but get nowhere
  8.  Pray
  9.  Complain to yourself
10.  Daydream about taking a vacation

We feel obligated to say that praying is the right answer in this list, but none of them are wrong in themselves-well, getting nowhere isn’t productive, shopping can get us into financial trouble, and chocolate makes us feel good for only so long but chubby for longer.  In the end, these coping strategies are superficial and temporary.  But what if praying makes you sadder?  When you pray for all those you care about and realize how desperately they need help, do you feel happy?  I don’t.  And what about the times when my prayers don’t seem to be answered?  I get discouraged when I pray for years for people who show no change for the good.   So if praying makes us sad, maybe we shouldn’t?  Well, there’s a way to pray that won’t depress us.  Here’s what I’m learning to do to make my prayers uplifting instead of depressing.  I’m learning to tell God and myself something I’m grateful for about the person I’m praying for.  This puts my thoughts on something positive when I talk to the Lord about their needs.  I’m also learning to express thanks for what kind of God I’m praying to.  Just giving God credit for who he is puts me in a better frame of mind.  These uplifting praises help to balance out all the requests that pain my heart.

Here’s a prayer I’ve been praying since yesterday when our friend died as a result of a car accident:  Dear Lord, thank you for being merciful. You took him home and spared him lingering in his paralyzed state.  Thank you that he believed you to save his soul.  Thank you that he’s safely home with you out of pain and distress.  Please help his wife.

This morning our puppy and I were outside walking under a dull, dark grey canopy of clouds.  Then, the rising sun kissed the grey cloud undersides.  What had been somber and threatening suddenly began to glow with a warm pink.  Instead of a formless blanket, individual cloud shapes and dimension became visible.  The skyscape was completely transformed by the light of the sun.  It seemed like a metaphor for what happens in my thinking as I’m praying.  Often the things I pray about make me feel sad.  The pain of those I love weighs heavily on me like those depressingly dark clouds.  But when I praise God in the middle of those prayers, the warm glow of God’s presence touches my sadness.

Here’s a Biblical example of someone who prayed a praise-peppered prayer when faced with a life and death situation. When King Hezekiah and Judah were on the verge of being obliterated by a mighty foreign army, he went straight to God with the dire problem.  He praised God that God alone was in charge.  Then he asked for help with faith that God would hear and help.  He could have complained and questioned why God had allowed this heathen army to threaten their existence.  But, instead, he offered praise and then requested help trusting God to intervene.  He realized that more was at stake than even their survival.  God’s honor which had been impugned by their enemies was at stake.  God answered in a stunningly miraculous way.

“After Hezekiah received the letter from the messengers and read it, he went up to the Lord’s Temple and spread it out before the Lord.  And Hezekiah prayed this prayer before the Lord: “O Lord, God of Israel, you are enthroned between the mighty cherubim! You alone are God of all the kingdoms of the earth. You alone created the heavens and the earth.  Bend down, O Lord, and listen! Open your eyes, O Lord, and see! Listen to Sennacherib’s words of defiance against the living God. 
“It is true, Lord, that the kings of Assyria have destroyed all these nations.  And they have thrown the gods of these nations into the fire and burned them. But of course the Assyrians could destroy them! They were not gods at all—only idols of wood and stone shaped by human hands.  Now, O Lord our God, rescue us from his power; then all the kingdoms of the earth will know that you alone, O Lord, are God. . . .That night the angel of the Lord went out to the Assyrian camp and killed 185,000 Assyrian soldiers. When the surviving Assyrians woke up the next morning, they found corpses everywhere.  Then King Sennacherib of Assyria broke camp and returned to his own land. He went home to his capital of Nineveh and stayed there.
 One day while he was worshiping in the temple of his god Nisroch, his sons Adrammelech and Sharezer killed him with their swords. They then escaped to the land of Ararat, and another son, Esarhaddon, became the next king of Assyria.”  2 Kings 19:14-19, 35-37

We can take our desperation, our sadness, our anger at wrongs done, our disappointment, and grief to God.  Even in those prayers, we have over-arching happiness.  It’s ok to feel these negative feelings, but we don’t need to be stuck there.  We can lift our heads and marvel at our God.  He is the complete answer to all our sadness and needs and those of our loved ones.  He is our Refuge, our Rock, our Anchor in rough seas, the listening Ear we crave, the powerful Intervener we desperately need, the gentle Shepherd who guides us and provides for us, the mighty Warrior who protects our souls, the kind Father who gives us all we need, the nurturing Spirit who comforts, the Enabler who gives us strength to move forward, the blessed Controller in a world gone crazy, the Planner who is bringing us to a beautiful new world, the untiring Guardian.

We can feel sad and yet feel happy that above all our sadness is a kind and loving God who is guiding us onward toward a happy-ever-after life with him.  When we lift our eyes to him, we can’t help but feel grateful, peaceful, and uplifted. 

Things to be grateful for and use in our prayers when we’re sad:
1.  God is on the throne of the universe
2.  God is bringing his good plans to completion in me and in the world
3.  Nothing can stop God
4.  God cares about his creation- man, animals, the earth
5.  God is intimately acquainted with our needs, thoughts, and desires
6.  Nothing is random
7.  The mightiest force in the universe is at work in us, God’s Spirit
8.  The best is yet to come
9.  We’re never abandoned or forgotten

Why not try peppering your prayers with praise?  Gratitude reminds us of the good while praying about the bad.