Husband’s parents are almost 92 and 91 years old.  They’ve been married for 71 years.  Their bodies aren’t what they used to be.  Several months ago his mother injured her back which severely limited her normal activities.  Somehow she managed to keep doing basic household chores including cooking, but the price she paid was high.  It was decided that Husband’s sister would come for a few weeks and lighten their mother’s load.  After two weeks of loving help, my mother-in-law was greatly improved.  It was evident that she just couldn’t continue to carry the load she had previously carried.  She needed help on a permanent basis.  Although she had been an excellent and dedicated cook for seven decades providing nutritious meals for her family, it was time to unload her.  So it was that Meals on Wheels came into their lives.  Our family held our breath to see how they would respond to this arrangement.  After a lifetime of home-cooked meals from scratch with fresh ingredients, would they be able to accept packaged frozen dinners?  Would Mom be able to accept the fact that she was no longer able to cook a big meal every day?  Could they adapt to having less control?  

Fast forward three months.  A few days ago we were sitting at their table sharing a meal together.  Yes, we were each eating a Meals on Wheels dinner!  The conversation briefly touched on the food.  What a lesson I learned from them!  I saw firsthand that gratitude and humility go a long way toward making a person happy.  They both expressed thankfulness for the meals that came dependably.  They were grateful that the meals spared Mom so much work.  They were grateful for the driver who delivered each day although he, himself, is elderly and crippled.  And they were planning to tip him generously at Christmas.  They were grateful for balanced nutrition.  They were grateful for the variety.  They were grateful they didn’t even have to wash dishes because the food comes in plastic containers for each person.  They were grateful that they could afford to pay for the meals.  There were no complaints, no if-only, just a humble acceptance of things as they are and a big dose of gratitude.  May I be just like them as I face the vicissitudes of old age!

But lest we shove this lesson off for later use, maybe I could apply this lesson of humility and gratitude to 2020 (and 2021!) .  How many times have I complained about the limitations caused by our state government’s response to Covid?  How quickly did I forget to be grateful that our home was spared from the wildfires?  How often do I think that I deserve better in some area of my life?  Maybe I need to adopt a little more humility and gratitude in my daily grind.  

How do I respond when Husband brings up something I failed to do, or suggests a better way I could do something?  Do I respond with humility to learn from my mistakes and gratitude that he’s helping me improve?  Or do I get defensive and try to justify or excuse myself?  How about my willingness to cooperate humbly with God when there are big lessons to learn?  Do I dig in my heels and resist, refusing to change my attitude or change my actions?  Do I get resentful and bitter?  Do I question God’s goodness to me?  If so, I’ll get to repeat the lesson until I’m willing to change!  One lesson that has been on rinse and repeat over the years in my life is to graciously let go of trying to convince my adult children to do what I think is best.  How egotistical of me to think that I know better!  I’m still learning to shut up and quit pushing.

When pain comes into my life unbidden, whether physical or emotional, how do respond?  I don’t have to be thankful for pain, but I can be thankful that the Lord Jesus is right here with me in the middle of it.  And I can be thankful that it isn’t wasted.  He will bring good out of my pain.  God is so good at redeeming nasty situations.  Just this morning dear Husband was asking me about the period in my teens after my mother died.  He asked me who I went to live with since my father lived in a different state and wasn’t desirous of taking me.  After a few questions, he said, “Wow.  Pretty much everything you held dear was ripped away from you.  Your mother, your grandmother, your church, your friends, your friend’s family, your school.  But I guess all that is what made you what you are.”   My life would have been completely different if things had gone on as usual.  But God used a bad situation.  It wasn’t wasted.  God is a master at bringing beauty out of ashes.  Even in hard things now I can look forward to the good God will bring to us. I can give thanks now for the good to come and start looking for it before it even happens.  I have a God who faithfully brings good out of hard.

“to comfort all who mourn,
and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair..”  Isaiah 61:3

I love the word picture here.  From head to toe, God gives us good things.  He treats us like royalty!  A crown, lotion, and a gown.  He gives us beauty, joy, and praise.  In the Old Testament tradition, people threw ashes on their head to express grief.  The Lord gives us, instead, a sparkling crown for our head to make us beautiful instead of dirty.  When mourning, another old tradition was to abstain from personal care like applying lotion or cosmetics.  But the Lord pours on us rich oil to smooth and soothe making us radiant instead of dry.  Sackcloth (we call it burlap bags) were worn to express deep sadness and hopelessness.  But our God provides beautiful clothing of fine, soft fabric to party in.  He brings something beautiful out of our pain.  He brings joy instead of grief.  He helps us praise instead of despair.

What blessings are your forgetting to be grateful for?  What pain are you allowing to obscure God’s goodness?  What hard lessons are you resisting?