When We Disagree

 

Everybody has a strong opinion about pretty much everything nowadays.  Who could have imagined such division about everyday things?  Now we’re even fighting about which medicine to take. People are divided over masks, social distancing, school closures, the government, social issues, the police, how to do church, and which brands to patronize, plus many others.  The disruption from the pandemic was bad enough but now disunity is tearing us down further.  Arguing is the order of the day.  So let’s be different!  Let’s stop criticizing others and embrace peace and love and joy.  Let’s hold to our own opinions about these things, but not make it a dividing line between us.

Let me just be clear about which matters we shouldn’t make divisive.  Anything that Scripture isn’t clear about, we can have an opinion and kindly disagree about it.  However, moral issues are clear in God’s Word and aren’t a matter of opinion.  God has already judged some things as right or wrong.  Those things are eternal and humans cannot alter the rightness or wrongness of them.  End of discussion.  But there are areas of life that the principles of Scripture can be applied differently by different people.  They aren’t moral issues that are clearly right or wrong.  Here’s an example from the earliest followers of Jesus who didn’t always agree on the details of how to live out obedience to God.  Some felt it honored their beliefs to be vegetarians while others didn’t feel they had to be vegetarians. 

“For instance, one person believes it’s all right to eat anything. But another believer with a sensitive conscience will eat only vegetables.  Those who feel free to eat anything must not look down on those who don’t. And those who don’t eat certain foods must not condemn those who do, for God has accepted them.  Who are you to condemn someone else’s servants? Their own master will judge whether they stand or fall. And with the Lord’s help, they will stand and receive his approval.”  Romans 14:2-4

No matter what our opinions are about politics, social issues, etc, the more important issue is whether what we do and say leads to harmony and encourages others.  Living our lives doing the right thing and enjoying God’s peace and joy is way better than trying to prove our opinions right.

“For the Kingdom of God is not a matter of what we eat or drink, but of living a life of goodness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.  If you serve Christ with this attitude, you will please God, and others will approve of you, too.  So then, let us aim for harmony in the church and try to build each other up.”  Romans 14:17-19

Two equally good people will come to opposite conclusions about what to do.  Both will base their decision on spiritual principles.  Both may be right.  Both are wrong if they make their opinion divisive.

“I know and am convinced on the authority of the Lord Jesus that no food, in and of itself, is wrong to eat. But if someone believes it is wrong, then for that person it is wrong.  And if another believer is distressed by what you eat, you are not acting in love if you eat it. Don’t let your eating ruin someone for whom Christ died.”  Romans 14:14-15

Consider carefully and then act on it without doubt and without trying to convince others to do the same.

“You may believe there’s nothing wrong with what you are doing, but keep it between yourself and God. Blessed are those who don’t feel guilty for doing something they have decided is right.  But if you have doubts about whether or not you should eat something, you are sinning if you go ahead and do it. For you are not following your convictions. If you do anything you believe is not right, you are sinning.”  Romans 14:22-23

 Rather than categorically insisting that everyone do it one way, their leader gave each person the freedom to choose for themselves.  The only requirements were that each person be fully convinced in their own mind, and no one criticize the other’s views or cause them to act against their own beliefs.  Sounds like a wonderful way to handle our current disagreements!

Another way of thinking that has helped me be more accepting of others is recognizing someone else’s job is different than mine.  Each of us is beautifully unique.  Each of us is equipped to do the tasks we were given to do.  No wonder others don’t do things the way I do things!  No wonder I don’t understand their approach!  I’m not wired like they are to do the things they need to do.  I’m wired to do the unique work God has set before me.  When I’m busy doing what God has asked me to do, I have less time to criticize how and what others are doing.  When I accept and respect how God made me and what his tasks are for me, I find it easy to accept and respect how God made others and what his tasks are for them.  There’s a beautiful example of this in the first decades after Jesus death and resurrection.  The very human leaders of the Jesus followers ran into an issue. In the end, they resolved it by honoring the different jobs God had given to different leaders.  One man should lead this group to the best of his ability and the other man should lead that group to the best of his ability.  Each respecting the other and their different jobs led to unity.  (Galatians 2)

How to contribute to unity?  Be loving by:

Accept that all won’t have the same opinion.
Honor your own opinion.
Honor the opinion of others.
Don’t look down on others if they disagree with you.
Don’t judge others if they disagree with you.
Don’t cause others distress by what you are doing.  
Don’t pressure those who disagree with you to think like you do.  Allow others the freedom to make up their own mind.
Take the feelings of those who disagree with you into consideration before you act.
Do your best to promote harmony, not stir up division.
Don’t shame, or belittle those who disagree with you.

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