When I typed the date for this blog to be posted, a flood of memories rushed up.  A high school girl kneeling beside her bed pouring out her sadness, fear, and loneliness to a God who hears.  She had just gotten word that her ill mother had died.  She would need divine grace to deal with the loss, the ensuing moves from one household to another, and the life decisions to be made without the loving counsel of her mother.   March 28^th is the anniversary of my mother’s death 51 years ago. Looking back, I can see that all my experiences worked together to form my character and increase my faith in a God who is with us and for us.

I bet there are many experiences you’ve had that caused you pain.  Maybe you questioned why God would allow those things to happen.  Did you know that it’s ok to ask God why?  It’s ok to be honest with God about your feelings.  He sees our distress anyway, so it’s better to pour out our hearts to him instead of hiding.  He welcomes us to talk to him.  He hears us.  He has mercy on us.  He gives us grace.  Just this morning our pastor reminded us that guilt and shame are tactics of the devil to keep us away from God.  Our hearts’ enemy continually tells us that we’re guilty.  He accuses us and he shames us.  But God tells us we’re forgiven.  We’re welcome to come to him because the sacrifice has already been made for our many sins.  When we shrink back from God, we’re listening to the shaming voice of Satan. 

I love the naked honesty of the heroes of our faith.  Take Moses, for instance.  He didn’t mouth pious prayers.  He came to God with his raw emotions.  “Just go ahead and kill me,” he told the Lord.  Whoa!  I’m guessing he was at the end of his rope.  The good news is that God was holding the rope.

“Moses heard all the families standing in the doorways of their tents whining, and the Lord became extremely angry. Moses was also very aggravated.  And Moses said to the Lord, “Why are you treating me, your servant, so harshly? Have mercy on me! What did I do to deserve the burden of all these people?  Did I give birth to them? Did I bring them into the world? Why did you tell me to carry them in my arms like a mother carries a nursing baby? How can I carry them to the land you swore to give their ancestors? Where am I supposed to get meat for all these people? They keep whining to me, saying, ‘Give us meat to eat!’  I can’t carry all these people by myself! The load is far too heavy!  If this is how you intend to treat me, just go ahead and kill me. Do me a favor and spare me this misery!”  Numbers 11:10-15

I just claimed that God wants us to be honest and come to him with our hurts.  So why does Scripture say that the Lord was angry with the people when they complained?  I think the difference is that the discontented people complained to each other and to Moses.  Moses was just as upset as they were, but he complained to God.  In other words, he took his issue straight to the One who could fix it.  Moses felt safe expressing his frustration to God and knew God would answer him.  The unhappy people whined about their woes, but didn’t believe God could solve their problems. (They) “rejected the Lord, who is here among you, and you have whined to him saying, “Why did we ever leave Egypt?”’  Numbers 10:20  Moses complained to the Lord in faith believing God could/would do something.  The people complained in rebellion, wishing they hadn’t followed God into the desert.

Pouring out our hearts’ pain to God, believing he is with us and for us is what God wants.  God loves to prove himself to us.  We come to him in honesty and a little faith.  Even Moses waivered in his faith and questioned whether the Lord could provide meat for so many people for a month as he promised.  ”Even if we caught all the fish in the sea, would that be enough?  Then the Lord said to Moses, “Has my arm lost its power?  Now you will see whether or not my word comes true.”” Numbers 10:22-23   God meets us right where we are. In the middle of our pain, our complaints, our doubts.  And there he proves his love and care and power.  

“Nothing in all creation is hidden from God. Everything is naked and exposed before his eyes, and he is the one to whom we are accountable.

 So then, since we have a great High Priest who has entered heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to what we believe.  This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin.  So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.”  Hebrews 4:13-16