The call had come while we were at a memorial service on Saturday for an elderly relative by marriage. We celebrated the fact that she is now with her husband of 67 years who passed just 7 months before her. As soon as we were in our car, we listened to the voicemail. It was from Husband’s life-long friend in another state, but instead of his usual jaunty, happy-go-lucky tone, his voice was strained. “Call me when you can.” No chit-chat. We were immediately worried. His wife had been diagnosed with a serious health issue the day before. When he didn’t answer our return call, we were even more worried. As we drove home in a sober state of mind, Husband commented that we’re at the age where many of our friends are having serious health issues.
This got me to thinking about friendship. I sure don’t wish we didn’t have friends! But right now we have several friends in hard places and our hearts are heavy. We hurt and pray with them in their pain. But we wouldn’t want it any other way. Having friends who are close to our hearts and being loved by those friends makes life rich. But friendships do cost. Friendships cost emotional energy. A close friend had his hopes of a transplant dashed a few days ago and we carry his pain. Another friend was very recently diagnosed with cancer and faces surgery next week. Our hearts ache for these friends, but that pushes us to pray for them. Friendships cost time, too. Yet we are very happy to invest the time necessary to listen, pray, encourage, and work to do what we can for them.
Before the church service on Sunday, I was chatting with a couple of other ladies. One is a recent amputee. Somehow we had gotten on the topic of crying, in a light-hearted way. Is that an oxymoron? But she said honestly, “I’m not crying anymore. I don’t have any tears left.” Each of us felt that stab of pain as we commiserated with her. Yet soon, all of us were laughing heartily together. In that moment, I had a glimpse into Heaven. Because shared laughter after sorrow is a taste of our eternal destiny when we’re all safely together forever celebrating the great victory our Champion has won for us. The tears of earth are past and only happiness stretches in front of us. We are together in wholeness.
“Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth … Look, God’s home is now among his people! He will live with them, and they will be his people. God himself will be with them. He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.” Revelation 21:1,3-4
After church, I talked to a mother of four young children who has found herself parenting and providing alone. Then I talked to my friend who hasn’t been able to return to missionary service abroad because of health issues. The hurt in this world sometimes is overwhelming. That’s when I’m especially glad to realize I have the best friend in the world to walk with me and with all those who welcome him.
“Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in, and we will share a meal together as friends.” Jesus in Revelation 3:20 (The painting on the left hung in my childhood Sunday School room. I stared at it often. Still love this painting by Sallman. Jesus doesn’t push his way in. He waits for an invitation.)
There are many times when I don’t feel like I do enough for my friends, which got me thinking about the perfect Friend. How shocking that Jesus would call us his friends in spite of our faults. He simply asks for our trust and obedience.
“There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn’t confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me. You didn’t choose me. I chose you.” Jesus in John 15:13-16
“Our God, did you not give it forever to the descendants of Abraham your friend?” 2 Chronicles 20:7
“And the scripture was fulfilled that says, “Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness,” and he was called God’s friend.” James 2:23
I’m so grateful for the precious friendships I enjoy. The most important earthly friend I have is my dear husband. The verses below sum up the advantages of having a soul mate. We were talking today about the fact that summer is now over, but we got so many outdoor projects done while we had good weather. A waterfall, a long retaining wall, sidewalk and patio, gravel pathways, a small deck, and our field prepared for planting. I said, “Well, you got a lot done.” But he corrected me, “No, we got a lot done. I couldn’t have done it without your help. You carried blocks and bricks, you shoveled pea gravel, you planted 100 shrubs, you raked up the field I disced. Now that we’re older especially, it takes two of us.” And I’m good with that!
“Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.” Ecclesiates 4:9-12 (Jesus is the third cord)
Even though friendship is costly in emotional energy and time, it is what we are intended for. Our Creator made us this way from the moment he proclaimed that it wasn’t good for Adam to be alone. We find purpose in serving our friends. And when we fail as a friend or our friends fail us, we appreciate even more the perfect Friend we have in Jesus who will finally perfect us and bring us all together for a bright, unmarred future.
P.S. After several days of gut-wrenching ups and downs, we got a text today from husband’s friend. “Just got her in the car, pulling away from hospital now.” Thank you, God.
The engagement photo is forever in my memory as you are a true and faithful friend. Love, Joy
I love you, Joy! Thank you. So grateful for your kindness and long-term friendship.
What a lovely story and picture!
Thanks, dear Wendy! Appreciate your encouragement.
You two were so young! So happy for you that you have been able to share your life with Jesus and your soul mate here on earth. Not many are so blessed. Love you, my friend!
Love you! Thanks for commenting. Only God’s grace kept two strong-willed people together and actually pulling together. Good thing we started young, 20 and 21, because we had a lot to learn and a long way to go and a lot of things for Jesus to change. Know we are blessed way beyond what we deserve.