I had barely read the text from a family member when the wave of pain hit me. I couldn’t sit still. I had to get up and walk. As I paced the hall trying to breathe, I was appalled at the speed and ferociousness of the physical pain that was obviously mirroring my inner pain. How could my body react so viscerally to news from a loved one in a hard place? I was pacing, gasping for breath, doubled over. Lord, what’s happening? I didn’t even have 2 seconds to think the situation through before the pain sucked my breath away. Am I going crazy? Dear Husband isn’t amused by my drama. I’m not either. Must be spasms, or heartburn, but why the instantaneous reaction before my brain even finished registering the gravity of her situation?
As at so many other times, I could only cry out in my heart to my Maker. Help me, Lord. Most of all, help her. Help me process this situation with your power in mind. You are in control even of this situation. No human can act without your consent. You alone reign and you see and care.
“For Christ must reign until he humbles all his enemies beneath his feet. And the last enemy to be destroyed is death. For the Scriptures say, “God has put all things under his authority.” (Psalm 8:6).” 1 Corinthians 15:25-27
I started to be able to breathe better. I’m thanking God for his power to make good out of bad things. I’m being so grateful that he decides the outcomes.
“You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good.” Genesis 50:20
I pour a lid full of Pepto Bismal. On impulse, I walk to the window and raise the pink liquid in the little plastic cup to the sky in a feable toast. A toast to my King who rules and who has such wonderful things in store. One of my favorite paintings comes to mind. I can’t even tell you the artist, but it was painted in the late 1800’s of a group of friends toasting in a happy, sunlit outdoor scene around a table. I picture myself and those I love at a table in the presence of my Savior and we are all happy and whole and toasting the One who made us happy and whole. There is glad celebration, camaraderie, and high spirits. We are together, safe, and beyond the grasp of evil. We are saluting the Captain of our salvation who won all these good things for us. 
“Let us be glad and rejoice, and let us give honor to him. For the time has come for the wedding feast of the Lamb…” Revelation 19:7
With this happy future in mind, the present seems brighter. The pain is subsiding. I have some peace. She, her children, and her situation are in trustworthy hands.
“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7
What I learned from this is that giving thanks has great power. Gratitude shows our trust. I’ve been trying to give a thank-you to God when I pray for the situations that pain me. Yes, it’s heart-breaking to think of his/her situation, but there is something to be grateful for as I ask for God’s intervention. No, my prayer for that person hasn’t yet been answered, but I can thank my God for his unending concern for that person and his unfolding plan that I can’t see yet. Yes, it seems that as the years pass there is no visible movement in the right direction, but I can be thankful that God loves them and knows them way more deeply than I do. Even tho I sound like a broken record, repeatedly asking over and over for the welfare of his/her soul, I can express thanks that God hears and doesn’t turn me away. Thankfulness brings peace and healing and it gives God rightful honor.
“We always pray for you, and we give thanks to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.” Colossians 1:3
They sang, “Amen! Blessing and glory and wisdom and thanksgiving and honor and power and strength belong to our God forever and ever! Amen.” Revelation 7:12
Painting by Peder Kroyer, Hip, Hip, Hurra.