Want to be happy? Make someone else happy! Happiness is a boomerang – you send it out to someone and it returns.
Think of all those times when it just seemed like a lot of effort to make someone else happy. But afterward, you were happier yourself! We all know that making others happy makes us happy. But how is the best way to be ready and willing to invest in others? By investing in ourselves. If we’re going to give to others, we have to give ourselves care. Physical care, emotional care, mental care, spiritual care. If we’re going to honor and respect others, we need to honor and respect ourselves. If we’re going to love others, we have to love ourselves. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not talking about selfishness. I’m talking about balance; putting ourselves in the strongest position to help others.
“love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord.” Leviticus 19:18
Acknowledge your physical needs. After all, God made us and he knows our limitations so it’s OK to admit that I am an aging human and have limited resources of strength and energy. If I’m overly tired and hungry, it’s hard to contribute to others. I choose carefully what I promise to do so I’m fair to myself and others. I used to pretend I was fine when I wasn’t. Now I respect my body by recognizing it’s limitations and legitimate needs. Pushing beyond my physical limits cheats me and the others in my life. I can’t care for them if I’ve overspent on my pet project. Often dear Husband has to rein me in. If it’s physical outdoor work, he sometimes has to call me inside when he knows I’m spent. I’m not always wise enough to know my limitations, but at least I’m wise enough to listen to his advice! A little trick I use to limit my beloved gardening work is to start in the cooler evening hours and be forced to stop by falling darkness. How do you put boundaries in place that protect your body?
“As a father has compassion for his children,
so the Lord has compassion for those who fear him.
He certainly knows what we are made of.
He bears in mind that we are dust.” Psalm 103:13-14
“Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.” 1 Corinthians 6:19-20
Acknowledge your emotional needs and take time for nourishing friendships. Making others happy means we’re focusing on them. This can be emotionally exhausting. If you’re a bit of an introvert like me, you need regular downtime to recharge your batteries. We also need time just to enjoy people who make us happy. That way we have happiness stores to share. Although there will always be negative or needy folks in our lives, we must seek out time with people who contribute to our own happiness and growth. I try to spend regular time with people I admire. Getting to know them on a deep level challenges me and makes me happy. Who do you have in your life to enrich you?
“Be devoted to each other like a loving family. Excel in showing respect for each other.” Romans 12:10
Acknowledge your mental needs and take time to stimulate your brain. I’m curious about all manner of things. (This has to be controlled so I don’t waste all my time reading!) Often some new information or idea I’ve come across gives me common ground when talking with someone. I’ve found that nobody wants to discuss the intricacies of my profession (except other photographers), but if I’ve fed my brain ideas from many fields, I can engage others in meaningful conversation that contributes to establishing and nourishing friendship. Asking questions about the other person is a great way to make them feel valued and works whether or not I have any knowledge at all in their fields of interest. Being a good listener and showing respect even when I can’t agree are keys to uplifting conversations. If I’ve trained my brain to take in new ideas regularly, it will be more nimble in engaging with other’s experiences and ideas. How do you keep your brain active?
“Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.” Philippians 2:4
Acknowledge your spiritual needs and take time for feeding your spirit. When I was younger I felt that God was keeping score of my Bible reading. If I didn’t do it every day, he would be displeased. But now that I’m older and hopefully wiser, I want to read every day (and books about the Bible) because I don’t want to miss a gem of wisdom that is just what I need when I hit an unexpected bump in my day. I don’t want to miss out! But I would miss out if I didn’t make this need a priority before I attempt to meet the needs of others. Husband reads a Bible chapter to me right after breakfast before we get busy with the urgent things of the day. I also read devotionals throughout my work day that come to my email inbox. These are little oases in my day that refresh my soul. I’ve put a short list of these under Resources at the bottom of this page. Church services are a delight to us -the worshipful music, the exhorting to live a life of faith, the friendships. Our small group Bible study and a larger adult Bible class add a deeper dimension to our lives. I know not everyone can attend multiple meetings because of work or health, but make every effort to attend at least once a week some kind of Bible-centered meeting with other like-minded people. We were made for it! Are you getting spiritual help each week?
“and let us think of one another and how we can encourage each other to love and do good deeds. And let us not neglect our church meetings, as some do. Let us do all we can to help one another’s faith…” Hebrews 10:24-25
RESOURCES
By going to these links, you can subscribe to receive daily email devotionals.
Leading the Way by Dr. Youseff
BreakPoint Christian Worldview