Are you sick of articles about how to get off to a good start in the new year? Are you just tired of articles that don’t deliver anything really practical? If you give this short article a read, I think you’ll find at least one helpful tip that you can try today. Are ya in?
Taking Inventory and Making a Plan
Practice this easy method by starting really simple with a narrow subject. I practiced by considering my Christmas experience this year. It only took a few minutes and it got me warmed up to this easy method of evaluating and making a plan to help get over bigger hurdles. And the little Christmas exercise will pay dividends by helping me enjoy next Christmas even more than this Christmas.
What did I enjoy this Christmas season? Be specific. Name the feelings during the events that gave you joy.
Mine was family gatherings. I got a lot of joy from watching the cousins play considerately together. Made me happy, proud, and hopeful. Also, during the gathering at our house, I was proud of myself for sticking to a very simple meal so I could enjoy people instead of working the whole time to make a fancy meal.
There were others, but I’m giving you one example.
What stole my joy during this Christmas season? Be specific. Name the feelings during the events that stole your joy.
Mine was not being able to give the gifts I wanted. I felt ashamed, embarrassed, like a failure, questioning myself, guilty. I was so discouraged, that I completely gave up on getting anything for anybody. At the last minute, I got a few $5. gifts.
What can I reproduce next year that gave me joy? What specific plans can I jot down on my calendar to facilitate that joyful occasion happening again?
In my case, I did a very simple soup meal. I’m planning to keep it simple next year, too. I’ll schedule making dessert and the soup base ahead like I did this year.
What can I do to reduce joy-stealers next Christmas? What can I put on my calendar now to avoid stress?
My plan is to reduce my gift giving expectations by acknowledging my small budget. But next year I hope to get each grandchild a small, personal gift that I enjoyed finding just for them. I will start by keeping my eye out for gifts during the year. P.S. I have a birthday gift budget that has to be reduced, too!
Now that you’re warmed up, try these questions for other areas of your life but narrow it to a certain time frame that is clear in your memory.
For instance, last week I jotted down joy-stealers in my business over the last four months. Things that repeatedly stole my joy when I’m doing the work I’m passionate about.
The first step is always identifying the problems. Usually, there are a handful of problems that just cycle over and over. There is a reason that you haven’t solved those problems yet. You actually know the solution. But every time you brainstorm about possible solutions, Negative Nelly objects to every solution. She tells you that you can’t afford to buy that thing that will make it possible to do that job successfully. Or she will tell you that you’re not capable of doing what it takes to do that job successfully. So the next time Negative Nelly yells at you. Thoughtfully ask, “What if I did/bought this?” Now ask Negative Nelly, “What is the worst thing that could happen if I try this solution?” Ask, “What is the best thing that could happen if I try this solution?” “What would I need to do to be able to buy that?” or “What would I need to do to be successful at that job?”
I answered these questions very specifically. Then I took some bold steps to work on eliminating those joy-stealers. Hooray! I’ve already had some breakthroughs.
A motivational writer that I admire is Jenika McDevitt. She has great insight into human nature. Her articles are the kind you have to read several times to get brave enough to actually try what she suggests! Here is part of her article on limiting beliefs:
“Limiting beliefs lurk where you have envy.
It’s hard to sit with, but the next time you feel fingers of envy tightening around your heart, take a deep breath and start asking questions:
What is it exactly that I wish I had here?
Why don’t I have it?
If I started working, would I get there?
What would keep me from doing that?
Those last two questions, especially, help uncover limiting beliefs. Maybe you think only fashionable/charismatic people can be successful. (I once thought I had to have more of a cheerleader-style personality to run an educational blog. So I became curious about that, and 4.5 years later I’m still blogging.)
Once you’ve identified what keeps you from doing something, keep asking. Design an experiment. Play around. Don’t stop.
Ask, ask, ask.
We’ve all met five-year-olds who just keep asking questions. They do this because they know if they do, something interesting will happen. (Like, maybe they’ll hear something unexpected. Or maybe Dad will explode.)
If you keep asking questions, I promise, something interesting will happen.
Curiosity didn’t kill the cat. Curiosity killed the limiting belief.
Before you go, let me warn you:
Challenging and letting go of limiting beliefs is EXTREMELY UNCOMFORTABLE.
Whereas once you had a tidy excuse not to do something, suddenly seeing that you don’t have an excuse can be legitimately, edge-of-cliff scary. Because it now means you have to do the thing.
You might find your brain inventing new limiting beliefs when an old one gets challenged.
Don’t panic when this happens. Just keep being curious. Relentlessly, pleasantly, calmly curious.
You will win.” Jenika McDavitt
It’s a funny thought for me that you assumed you had to have a different personality in order to blog as I see you as very successful just being you! Interestingly enough, Freedom in Christ newest series has “Unstuck” as it’s first book and “Undaunted” as it’s second! They’re simple, easy to read books for any age. I’ve taught on the truth that sets free for 2 and a half decades, but I still need these reminders to evaluate where I get stuck and to step out in faith!
Yes! All of us need reminders. When I was young, I thought by the time a person arrived at a certain age, (ahem), they would have ‘arrived’. But now I’ve arrived at that age and found out that I haven’t ‘arrived’. I still to keep learning and re-learning. Reminders are good! I’ll look up those two books. Thanks, dear friend. PS That bit about personality and blogging was a quote from an inspirational writer that I follow. Not my own feelings.