This article is for parents and grandparents of school-aged children and teens.  Remember that we as grandparents do have influence.  We can model the characteristics we hope to instill in our grandchildren.  We can be part of an accountability network and we can be a listening ear.  Sometimes as grandparents we have a little more time to listen and are enough removed from a situation that kids will open up to us when they just need to get something off their chests.  Being a good listener is a gift we can give our grandchildren.

P.S.  I realized today that some of you live in areas where school already started this week.  Apologies!  Much of this material will still be helpful since your school year has just begun and it isn’t too late to tweak things for optimum efficiency.

Fear is an emotion common to all humankind.  The beginning of the school year is often a time of increased fears for children and teens. Here are some common worries.

Will I be able to deal with bullies?  Scholastics isn’t the only challenge for students.  The social side of school can make or break a student’s school career.  Just in the past 2 weeks, I have heard four stories of bullying.  When discussing this with Husband, he replied that he was bullied for many of his school years because of his small size at the time.  He said that what makes bullying worse nowadays is the constant presence of social media which can be a cruel tool in the hands of a bully.  The following article is a helpful place to start getting advice on dealing with the issue of bullying.  

Will I be able to do all the work?  Here are some words of wisdom for younger children, but the principle applies to all ages.

Parenting expert Julie Nelson suggests you structure rules, expectations, and consequences. “If you don’t have a regular, consistent schedule of daily activities at home, your child will have more difficulty adjusting to them at school.”

Give your child responsibilities and things to do at home, such as daily chores like clearing plates from the table, picking up toys or dressing themselves.

“Give support and encouragement as they complete these activities,” suggests Nelson. “Do as much as you can together to model it correctly. Use these as ‘teaching moments’ for life skills. Only allow privileges [like going on an outing, playing with friends] after they are done.”  My add-in; state it positively.  “You can go outside when you’re finished.”  Avoid negative.  “You can’t go outside until you’re finished.”

Will I make friends?  Parents of all age kids can help smooth the road ahead for their student by arranging for meet-ups before school or at least in the early part of the school year.  For young children, a parent could invite other children in the neighborhood over for a play date.  Parents of teens starting a new school could make sure their teen attends a church youth group where friendships could develop.  Even if new friends aren’t in the same grade or even the same school, friendships are an oasis of refreshment for the stressful teen years.  All the better if those friends share your teen’s faith and values!  Modeling friendliness to your kids is a powerful way to help them learn to reach out to others.  I never cease to be amazed at the richness of my life because I have learned to talk start conversations (in safe environments).  When we reach out with the intention to help others, we receive a blessing just in showing love, whether or not a friendship results.

Will I be able to get ready in time?  This is a complex issue.  Let’s unpack the factors that affect getting out the door on time with your sanity in tact.

Evening routines make for better sleep and calmer mornings.  Start your evening routine with eating dinner together as a family.  Making this a priority pays big dividends.  Eating together creates bonds.  Simply true.  Helping to prepare the meal together creates stronger bonds.  Even clean-up afterward can provide an opportunity for relaxed conversation that may not have happened otherwise.

Healthy bedtime-    Parenting expert Jennifer Grant, author of MOMumental: Adventures in the Messy Art of Raising a Family, notes that, “It’s standard advice from educators and pediatricians, but take it seriously: Make sure kids get on a schedule for school a few weeks before it begins. After late summer nights of catching fireflies or staying up late to watch movies, getting up woken up early for school can make for ugly mornings for you and your kids.”

A bedtime routine for young children increases security and aids in good sleep.

Turn off electronics at a set time before your bedtime ritual.

If you parent with the objective of passing on your faith, make it a habit to read Bible stories to your children.  But don’t end it there.  Ask them questions about how they could act on those principles this week.  Let them make comments and ask questions about real life experiences.

Also, read aloud classic stories on their age level that have stood the test of time to teach them to appreciate good writing, good values, and imagination.

 

 

 

 

Pray before sleeping.  Let them pray out loud.  Be patient and remember that a child intuitively knows that God cares about even the small things in their lives.

 

 

 

 

Teens also benefit from bedtime schedules.  Agree on curfews and bedtimes and stick to them.  Teens thrive on responsibility and accountability.

Encourage your teens to read the Bible daily on their own which helps them make faith their own.  Either morning reading or evening reading gives them a peaceful, encouraging end or start of the day.  “Daily Light on the Daily Path” is a collection of daily Scripture readings made to be read in a few minutes morning and evening.  Perfect for busy teens.

Prep the night before-  Agree on bath times if multiple kids are using the same bathroom.  How long each person gets in the bathroom and who should shower when help cut down on conflict.  Notice I didn’t say eliminates.  Our oldest son’s comment years ago when he was a young teen sharing a bathroom with 5 other siblings still makes me laugh.  “Mom, I can’t even get the second shoe off for a shower before I hear an urgent little voice at the door saying, ‘I gotta go really bad!’”

Evening prep for the next morning sure helps A.M.s run smoother.  Laying out clothes, packing backpacks, having lunches ready, papers signed, and breakfast planned the night before all reduce stress in the morning.  One source suggested a hanging organizer with shelves for outfits for each day of the week.  Ikea has a handy valet for $12.00 that I like for putting out the next day’s outfit.

For Further Reading

101 Back to School Tips

https://www.care.com/c/stories/3192/101-back-to-school-tips-for-kids-and-parents/

Back to School Worries

https://www.care.com/c/stories/3208/5-back-to-school-worries/