An older couple greeted us warmly.  We were new and a little awkward.  We wanted to fit, but there were some hurdles.  Many folks grew up here and we were vagabonds.  They were rooted in the rich soil of this place, but we were transplants.  They were savvy at growing things, we were bewildered at what would survive on our mountain.  They were country, we were a mix of suburb/city/jungle/country.  They were cowboys, I was a Yank.

And this church of a thousand where we found ourselves was a beautiful reflection of who these folks are.  Authentic, honest, hard-working, straightforward, enthusiastic, open, practical, energetic –  complete with music to match.  (Love the whoops in appropriate places of the songs!)  But much as I admired these qualities,  I felt like an outsider.  The last church we had attended on the other side of the continent was quite cerebral.  The sermons were deep, complex and mentally challenging:  the what and why of belief.  If that church was the head, this church was the hands.  This one is all about doing what we know to be right, simply living day by day in obedience to Jesus.

So here we were.  Ready for the next step in our life-changing move; finding our place in our new church.  So we paid attention when the kind, older couple invited us to come to Bible class with them on Tuesday evenings.  Please come, they said, you’ll like it and you can sit with us.  Sure enough, when we arrived, they were enthusiastic about the teaching and graciously sat with us.  We knew they didn’t need any more friends, they had many because they had served long and faithfully in the church and everyone knew and loved them.  Yet they made us feel like we were important to them.  Sitting with them somehow made us feel wanted, valued, secure in this new place.  It took us a little while to realize they were the parents of the pastor.  They had never let on and never used their son for leverage.  In fact, the work they did was often jobs others didn’t want to do.

After a few weeks in the class, Husband struck up a conversation with a man and his wife who were about the age of our oldest daughter.  Each week, Husband talked to this couple.  Finally, I got in on it and met his wife who I was instantly drawn to.  To make a long story short, that couple and their four children have become an important part of our lives.  They have invited me and our granddaughter fruit picking with them.  What fun to chat while picking blueberries or peaches!  I even get to be a stand-in grandma at school functions since one set of their grandparents live in another state.  We’ve hired their boys to help us with anything from menial labor to web design.  The wife is a master gardener and is my personal landscape consultant- yea!  My teenage granddaughter worked for my friend one morning a week during the school year helping in the library of the school where she teaches.  What a fun learning experience for my granddaughter!  She looked forward to it every Friday.  (She had a four day school week, so Fridays were free for her.)  We are richer because Husband made the effort to strike up a conversation at church.

Meanwhile, another couple also made it a point to make us feel welcome.  They always gave us hugs and took a personal interest in us.  Early on, they invited us to their small group Bible study.  We felt honored that they would want us to go with them to their group of three other couples of various ages who met weekly to study and spend time together.  After a few weeks of attending with them, we felt we needed to decide if we wanted to commit to this group or look for another group.  We were undecided until the week the leader asked the group to share what was difficult in their childhood that had an impact on the way they thought about themselves and the world.  The honest sharing of our friend and another man gave us a whole new understanding of and appreciation for them.  We had no idea what hurdles they had overcome to become the people they are today.  That insight into their pain united us with them and we never again considered leaving the group.  Now we have eight friends to rely on when we need prayer, eight friends to share life with, eight friends we trust and benefit from.  We share each other’s burdens, joys, and everyday needs.  In fact, the computer hutch I’m sitting at right now is a gift from one of the couples.  Their daughter bought a house that came with a hutch she didn’t want.  We were at the house scavenging unused bricks when asked if we could also use a computer hutch.  Poor Husband cringed.  The piece is massive, but oh, so useful to me.  He sighed and agreed.  It took three men to load it onto our borrowed trailer.  Then there was the riding mower also left at the house and passed on to us.

“Right now you have plenty and can help those who are in need. Later, they will have plenty and can share with you when you need it. In this way, things will be equal.”  2 Corinthians 8:14

“And God will generously provide all you need. Then you will always have everything you need and plenty left over to share with others.”  2 Corinthians 9:8

One day we mentioned to the pastor how amazed we were that we already had friends and felt at home in our new church.  He said something that gave me pause.  He told us we had a welcome sign out.  Apparently, our countenances invited others to approach.  That was a huge compliment.  I had never considered this.  His observation made me think about the struggle we all have when entering a new arena of life.  Our attitude and expressions either draw others in or push them away.  All of us have been turned off by a stranger’s scowl or attracted to a new person’s smile.  I thought of Husband taking the initiative in talking to different families and how that grew into friendships we treasure and have nurtured.

“We have spoken freely to you, Corinthians, and opened wide our hearts to you.”  2 Corinthians 6:11

So I have two questions for you, dear reader.  If you are the one who is established in your group/organization/neighborhood/church do you take the time to welcome folks that are new?  Do you notice that someone needs a helping hand to feel wanted, valued, and part of the group?  Do you seek out the one who is hanging back, alone, awkward?  Do you invite them in even though it’s no particular benefit to you?  Can you see their good points and appreciate them even if there is something that is off-putting about them?  Do you enjoy encouraging others?  Do you let them know that you noticed them and are glad they have come?

“…suppose someone comes into your meeting dressed in fancy clothes and expensive jewelry, and another comes in who is poor and dressed in dirty clothes.  If you give special attention and a good seat to the rich person, but you say to the poor one, “You can stand over there, or else sit on the floor”—well,  doesn’t this discrimination show that your judgments are guided by evil motives?  James 2:2-4

If you are the new one, do you enter the group/organization/neighborhood/church with a friendly smile and an open heart?  Do you do the work of approaching others in order to get to know them?  Do you have a genuine desire to listen to them instead of talking about yourself?  Are you open to others even if they seem very different from you?

If you can say, “Yes!”, you are set up to be very rich in relationships.

“Just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, so it is with Christ’s body. We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other.”  Romans 12:4-5

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