My heart is heavy as I write this.  Someone I love is being mistreated .  Thoughtless words, accusations, insults, and threats are her daily experience.  I hope I can share these thoughts with her in small bites when we chat.  These are affirmations that help me cope with my troubles.  They may help you, too.

I will allow the hard things to make me a better person, not a bitter person.

I believe this hard thing is part of a bigger picture that is beautiful and positive.  God has a good plan for me.

I will allow this negative to become a positive influence for growth.

I am not alone in my pain.  God is with me.  He sees, cares, and feels my pain.

I will allow this trouble to make me a person with endurance, not a quitter — a strong person with confidence in God’s deliverance.

I am letting this sadness remind me that I have so much to look forward to.  God has good things ahead for me in this life and the next.

I am remembering that I must forgive those who hurt me because I have been forgiven by God.  We are all flawed.

I am treating the offender with compassion.  He or she is likely miserable inside and just spreading their own pain.

I remember that difficulties develop depth in me that would otherwise never develop.

I’m becoming a better person because of this problem.

I’m able to help others who are suffering because I’ve come through suffering.  Pain tenderizes my heart and makes me sensitive to other’s hurts.

I can model how to live strong because others are watching how I handle difficult situations.  

I will make sure the suffering isn’t self-inflicted.  If I caused this problem, what can I do to change?

I will evaluate criticism.  Is there a small seed of truth in the accusations?  How can I improve in that area?  What is false?  I identify and reject lies about my worth.  Hurtful comments I dismiss, not allowing them to burn into my soul and mind.  I don’t have to let someone else’s opinion about me embed in my inner person.  I can let it bounce off my shield and fall to the ground.  Lies are burning arrows from the enemy of my soul and I have the power of God to repel them.

I believe I’m valuable, I’ve been endowed with certain gifts to help others, and I have purpose.

My lack of ability in some areas doesn’t define my worth.  My ability in other areas doesn’t define my worth.  I’m worthy just because God created and loves me.

My failures don’t define my future.  What is past is past.  I choose the course of each new day.

I think about positive things, not how others hurt me.  I think of things to be grateful for, both big and small.  The people who love me, food and shelter, the Bible, my church, health.  I revel in little reminders of God’s care . . . someone’s kindness, a bird singing, a friendly dog, a crisp apple.  I’m alert to beauty around me.  I deliberately delight in trees, clouds, a smile, changing light, the moon, a sunset, flowers, animals.

There is a difference between a mistake and a sin.  When I do something stupid, it isn’t necessarily a moral issue.  If I didn’t make a choice to violate what I knew what was right, I still may suffer the consequences of stupidity, and others may shame me, but I have no guilt and I can quickly move on.

Discouragement is a famous strategy of the enemy to sidetrack me.  Hope gives me power to keep on keeping on.

Bitterness against the one who hurts me pulls me down to their level.  Forgiveness frees me to soar above the problem toward my goals.

Anger exhausts me.  Compassion fuels me for the long haul.

Pretending there isn’t a problem robs me of the benefit of facing the problem and learning from it.

Feeling entitled to an easy life sets me up for disappointment.  Recognizing that life is hard and changing my attitude to accept and learn from hardship sets me up for overcoming it.

I know that suffering isn’t random in an impersonal universe but allowed by an all-knowing Person who intends it for a higher good.

For further encouragement, you can read these Bible passages:

The story of Joseph and his mistreatment by his family and his employer and how he overcame, succeeded, and forgave is in Genesis chapters 37-47.

The short book of James in the New Testament is full of practical help in living a happy life;  “Are any of you suffering hardships?  You should pray …, Don’t grumble about each other .”  James 5.

Romans chapter 5 and 8 give us encouragement and perspective; “We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know they help us develop endurance.”  Romans 5:3  “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him.”  Romans 8:28

The life of the apostle Paul models how to face hardships.  His experiences and advice on suffering are in the New Testament books of Acts, 1 and 2 Corinthians, Romans, 2 Timothy.  After my mother’s early death when I was a teenager, I found solace in 2 Corinthians 1:3-6  “Praise be to God, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”