Valentine’s Day is three weeks away. I have an idea. What if we started celebrating Valentine’s from now till then and beyond?! Here’s how:  Be intentional about noticing kind things your spouse does for you, the family, or others. Each time you see his kindness, thank him for it. Acknowledge the little things. Comment on the unselfish things. Name the behind-the-scenes things. Mention the mundane things- the things we all take for granted in a household. When he chooses patience. When he gives grace. Tell him how much his love in action means to you. Just noticing everyday things to appreciate and expressing your thanks will be an encouragement to him. You may be surprised at how it also improves your own attitude! By the time Valentine’s rolls around, you’ll be in a much better frame of mind to celebrate your love.

Here are a few examples from around our house:  “Thank you for driving me.  So glad you’re a good driver – not like my friend’s husband.”  “Thank you for vacuuming.  The dogs brought in so much dirt.  It sure looks better now.”  (I can hear the jealous comments.  ‘Her husband vacuums?!!!  Yes, and I don’t take it for granted!)  “Thank you for going down and opening the gate for our guests…especially since it’s cold and rainy.”  “Our house is toasty thanks to you keeping a good fire in the woodstove.”  “I don’t know what we’d do if you couldn’t fix everything.”  “You never spend money.  Some couples are financial wrecks because one of them spends and spends.  So glad you don’t.”  “You’re such a good son.  You faithfully call your parents.”  “Thanks for helping in the kitchen.  It’s hard for me to be on my feet today.”  “You care about the people at church.  It makes a difference that you talk to them and pray for them.”  “I’m glad you like to be with kids.  You’re not like some grouchy old people who are bothered by little ones.”

Taking for granted the contributions of others leaves us emotionally poor. Do yourself a favor and thank your spouse when they do something kind. BTW, all of us can do this, whether or not we have a spouse. Make it a point to thank family members, friends, service providers, clerks, co-workers, and strangers. You’ll be happier!  If you grew up in the 1950’s, your parents probably prompted you to be polite after someone gave you something by asking you, “What do you say?” They were reminding you to say, “Thank you.” (Maybe they also taught you the Magic Word, Please.)  Did you give your kids these prompts? Guess what? We adults still need to be reminded to say, Thank you!

Did you know that it’s God’s will for you to say Thank you to him? God knows that gratitude makes us happy. Scientific studies show that gratitude makes us healthier in mind and body. God knows that thankfulness is important for our well-being. He tells us to be grateful to him- get this- at all times. Ouch. It’s hard enough to remember to give thanks for the good, lovely, happy-making people and things. But be grateful to God in the middle of the hard?!

“Always be joyful.  Never stop praying.  Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
“Be glad in the Lord always. I will say it again: Be happy!  . . . Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:4-7

See a pattern here? Joy, prayer, thanks.  Before you write this off as impossible, remember that the apostle Paul, was the author. His letter to the church at Philippi was written while he was imprisoned in Rome, not happily enjoying the good life.
“I am in chains for Christ.” Philippians 1:13

Paul, under the guidance of the Holy Spirit, gave the command to be happy, pray, and give thanks because he had learned the benefit of doing so. He had learned to find joy, pray, and give thanks not only in good times, but also during shipwrecks, beatings, and long days and nights in chains.  Paul learned to give thanks to God in the middle of the muddle.

While thanking God in spite of his circumstances, he also remembered to thank people for their kindness to him. One of the churches had sent money for his living expenses earlier, and hearing that he was imprisoned, they sent a representative with gifts to make his life a little easier.  Paul graciously expressed his gratitude.  He commended them for their generosity both past and present.  He told them how meaningful their gifts were to him.  He made it clear that he wasn’t wheedling another gift out of them, but was completely satisfied with what they had already given him.  I think this is a model for how we should thank people.  We should let them know that we were in need of their help.  We should recall past kindnesses, showing that kindness is a pattern for them.  We name the kindness.  We’re clear that we don’t assume that everybody does such kind things.  They are especially kind and thoughtful.  Make sure they know that we are completely satisfied with what they already did without insinuating that they should do more.  We tell them they deserve a reward for all they’ve done and we can’t sufficiently do that.  We express how much what they did helps us.  Sometimes it’s appropriate to tell them that God sees their kindness and will reward and provide for them.

“You have done well to share with me in my present difficulty [being a prisoner].
As you know, you Philippians were the only ones who gave me financial help when I first brought you the Good News and then traveled on from Macedonia. . . I don’t say this because I want a gift from you. Rather, I want you to receive a reward for your kindness.
At the moment, I have all I need—and more! I am generously supplied with the gifts you sent me with Epaphroditus. They are a sweet-smelling sacrifice that is acceptable and pleasing to God.  And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:14-19

Let’s be alert for opportunities to thank others, starting at home, this week.  Happy pre-Valentine’s!