It had been a happy event with about 50 ladies, both old friends and new. Soul-satisfying conversations had encouraged me with the solid faith of ladies I’d never met before. There was laughter, thoughtfulness, great food, and love. But now the clean-up. My stinking ailments were all screaming at me. I needed to stop and sit down, but the job wasn’t finished. I had a responsibility to complete. But the old body had called it quits.

Enter a friend whom I had never done anything for. (But she had already done a big favor for me months ago.) She quietly turned to me and said, “I’ll help you finish this tomorrow. Or, actually, I’ll come back and finish this for you tomorrow.” I wanted to cry. Her kindness flowed over me like a warm blanket, soothing my distress. Her eyes told me she knew I had hit a wall. Instead of criticizing me in her mind for being a quitter, she opened her heart of kindness and offered a gift. “I’ll help you.”

What a lesson she taught me. We always have a choice: criticize or help. She’s the same age as me, yet she was still working while I had fizzled out. She could have judged me- buck up, just get it done. But she accepted my limitations and stepped up with compassion and a solution. She didn’t just say something nice and leave, “I hope you feel better soon. Bye.” It was a real, but unspoken, “I’m willing to sacrifice my morning tomorrow to help you.” Which she did the next day, true to her word, with a smile and wonderful conversation as bonuses, plus the job got done very well.

I’ve been reading and rereading a Scripture passage in 2 Corinthians 12. It’s one I need to internalize. The apostle Paul was wrestling with a disability. He pleaded with God to heal him, but his requests weren’t granted. Instead, the Lord explained that he was giving Paul two things that superseded healing. Two things that would be better than physical healing. Grace and power.

He [Jesus] said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9

Grace is a small word we throw around a lot. I realized I couldn’t explain it in a few words, so I looked up English synonyms for the Greek word charis, translated grace. I’m so glad I did, because now that nebulous word has jelled for me. Grace is kindness and favor. God freely gives us kindness and favor. In fact, his kindness and favor are what we need more than anything else.

Charis: grace, the state of kindness and favor toward someone, often with a focus on a benefit given to the object.*
God has so much kindness and favor for us that he gives us power in our weakness. Instead of just wishing us well in our limitations, Jesus comes close and supports us, providing what we lack. His Spirit enables us to do things we could never do on our own – thrive and help others in spite of our circumstances.

Because we daily receive the grace of God, his kindness and favor, we have kindness and favor to give away to others. And where do they need our kindness and favor? In the place where they are limited, just like God does for us. In an unguarded moment, a flaw in a friend becomes apparent. We’re surprised and disappointed. Will we secretly chalk it up as a negative on her scorecard? Or will we overlook it, kindly thinking of a possible reason that set her up for this shortcoming? Will we judge or think of her with favor? I’ve noticed that I’m good at showing favor to my own shortcomings! “I’m late because I had a lot to do.” When the truth is, “I’m late because I mismanaged my time today.” If we could only make excuses for others the way we make excuses for ourselves!

And beyond showing favor, let’s show kindness. Kindness in action, like my friend did for me. Not only did she not accuse me or think less of me, but she stepped into my weakness and offered her strength. When we see a friend or family member stumble in some way, a harsh word, a defeated mindset, being self-focused, being in pain, what is our response? “Well, that’s ugly. I’m glad I don’t have that problem,” and turn away. Or do we think of a way to come alongside and support them? A kind answer to a harsh word, some way to encourage a faltering friend, directing their self-focused thinking toward what they could contribute to others, carrying the hurting one’s burden of chores.

Kindness carries another through rising waters. Kindness cares and steps in to help. Favor overlooks faults and serves anyway. This is what the Lord does for us and what he enables us to do for others.
Let’s let God’s favor and kindness flow through us to others this week.

*NIV Exhaustive Concordance Dictionary. Copyright © 2015 by Zondervan.