I inwardly cringed when I submitted a difficult assignment recently.  My reviewers had seemed harsh lately, glossing over the things I’d done right and hitting hard on what I did wrong while requiring me to start my project all over multiple times with flippancy.  I was discouraged and dreaded the next review.  But this reviewer was different.  She praised me for each thing I’d done well.  She requested I fix what was wrong, but the way she asked showed me that she had utmost confidence in my ability.  I floated on air.  I Can do this!  She’s convinced I’m on the right track and will be able to accomplish this task.  She’s confident that I’ll succeed.  And now I am, too!

What a lesson for my life!  How often do I concentrate on what others are doing wrong instead of building them up for the things they’re doing right?  I’m not suggesting that we should stop correcting.  I just know that I err on the side of noticing the bad before the good.  I’m now determined to point out to myself and others what is right first and build them up with genuine praise for what they’re doing well.    Each person deserves praise for something, even if it’s small.  Then when I make a suggestion for improvement, I want them to know that I’m assuming they’ll be successful.  A vote of confidence that they’re capable of doing the right /best thing gives them strength to try.  Affirmation is powerful.

 The apostle Paul who started many churches knew the secret of affirmation and showing confidence in those he led.  His confidence in them fueled their success.
“Confident of your obedience, I write to you, knowing that you will do even more than I ask.”  Philemon 1:21
“Dear friends, . . . We are confident that you are meant for better things, things that come with salvation.”  Hebrews 6:9
“And we are confident in the Lord that you are doing and will continue to do the things we commanded you.”  2 Thessalonians 3:4
“He always prays earnestly for you, asking God to make you strong and perfect, fully confident that you are following the whole will of God.”  Colossians 4:12

Here is a very mundane example of affirmation contributing to another’s success from my daily life.  We got a puppy two months ago.  We’ve made it a point to praise him all day long. It started by praising him when we took him outside to go potty.   I even praised him while he ate so he would associate something pleasant with my praise.  When he lies down to sleep at night, “Good Boon.”  When he lies at my feet, “You’re such a good Boon.”  When he plays outside close to the house, “Good Boon”.  And finally, when he comes when called, extra enthusiastic praise, “What a good Boon you are!” with lots of pats.  He knows we’re pleased with him and now he wants to keep pleasing us.

I love the Old Testament story of Joshua and Caleb because it’s a real life picture of affirmation and confidence.  When God’s people left slavery in Egypt, God promised them a land of their own.  However, that land was already occupied and they would have to fight the current inhabitants in order to possess it.  When they neared the land that was to be theirs, Moses sent out twelve spies to survey the land and those who lived there.  After their scouting trip, ten of the spies gave a discouraging report.  We’ll never be able to defeat these people, they said.  There are giants living here in great, walled cities who we will never be able defeat.  But Joshua and Caleb disagreed with the majority report.  They had the faith to believe that God was greater than the giants and that he would do what he promised.  They urged the people to trust God and move forward and take the land. But the people refused to listen to the two men and obey God. As a result, God punished them by decreeing that all the adults would die while wandering in the desert for 40 years with the exception of Joshua and Caleb.  Not only would Caleb live to see the land conquered, but he was promised a particular part of the land as his own.  Now this area was the exact area where the giants had their stronghold.  Caleb was fully aware of the challenge.  Forty years earlier he had declared his confidence in God’s ability to give victory, now he was ready to put his life on the line to prove God’s trustworthiness.  Can you imagine an eighty-five year old man ready and willing to attack the giants’ fortress?!  Moreover, what kind of leader would allow this old man to try?  A God-trusting leader like Joshua!  Joshua gave him a blessing and before the battles even began, he deeded the land to Caleb in anticipation of his victory.  He affirmed Caleb’s faith and ability and had confidence in his successful outcome.

“So give me the hill country that the Lord promised me. You will remember that as scouts we found the descendants of Anak [giants] living there in great, walled towns. But if the Lord is with me, I will drive them out of the land, just as the Lord said.  ”So Joshua blessed Caleb son of Jephunneh and gave Hebron to him as his portion of land.  Hebron still belongs to the descendants of Caleb son of Jephunneh the Kenizzite because he wholeheartedly followed the Lord, the God of Israel. (Previously Hebron had been called Kiriath-arba. It had been named after Arba, a great hero of the descendants of Anak.)”  Joshua 14:12-15 [Anak was the father of a race of giants.]

But what if the person has repeatedly failed?  Can I pretend that their past performance doesn’t matter? To be honest, with some people I assume they won’t succeed.   Sadly, I’m guessing that my bad attitude isn’t hidden from them. But the Lord Jesus modeled gracious confidence in someone who had goofed up and was about to really blow it again big time.  Peter was impetuous, ran his mouth before thinking, jumped to wrong conclusions, and had even tried to dissuade Jesus from his life’s purpose.  Yes, Jesus was painfully aware of his friend’s weaknesses, but he called out the best in him with confidence in his future success.  Can we do less?

“Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift each of you like wheat.  But I have pleaded in prayer for you, Simon, that your faith should not fail. So when you have repented and turned to me again, strengthen your brothers.”
Peter said, “Lord, I am ready to go to prison with you, and even to die with you.”
But Jesus said, “Peter, let me tell you something. Before the rooster crows tomorrow morning, you will deny three times that you even know me.”  Luke 22:31-34

Who do you need to encourage with affirmation of what they’re doing right and confidence in their eventual success?