My friend’s childhood was characterized by a dead beat dad who spent time in prison, didn’t support them, had a trail of mistresses, and engaged in illegal activity in her home.  She was in high school before she heard her mother tell her, “I love you.”  And even that occasion was initiated by the daughter. Upon the death of the grandmother who lived in a far away state, my friend comforted her mother telling her she loved her and her mom returned the sentiment.  At the age of 15, she started working the 4:00pm to midnight shift alone in a cafe in a tough neighborhood of LA.  In spite of all this, today she is a loving, family oriented woman.  She’s so generous that she and her husband opened their home to a daughter and her husband and children for a period of time while the young family’s home is under construction.  So how does a person who grew up in this kind of environment turn out to be lovingly involved with her children, grandchildren, niece, and elderly mother?  Only God.

The good news is that God uses our hardships to make us better.  The bad news is that God uses our hardships to make us better.  Every one of us wants to be better and every one of us is scared of hardships.  We would all avoid the difficult things if we could.  But instead of running scared, we can learn to accept trials and lean on God’s help to endure them.  We can look forward to the good results, rewards even, of the hard things and live in trust and joy even in the middle of difficulty.

When facing something hard that life throws at me, I try to stop and tell the Lord that I trust him in this situation.  I know it isn’t random and it is serving a purpose for my good.  I realize that difficulties always serve at least one very good purpose.  They remind us to lean on God and not rely on our own wits to get us to the other side.  I’ve noticed that often my trials are variations on the same themes.  Obviously, the Lord sees that I need to develop my spiritual muscles in these areas, so he keeps giving me the chance to exercise my faith.  I’m learning to be thankful for this.  It sure helps to recognize that God’s intent is to help me improve, not to punish me.  It helps to see that he knows me so well that he tailor makes challenges that will make me better when I push through them with his help.  I don’t have to mope around dwelling on the problem.  I can put my eyes on my loving Father and put one foot in front of the other in obedience with complete confidence that he is in control.  Even tho I don’t know the outcome, I do know it will be good.  I can be happy that I’m cared for and on an upward path. 

  “Remember how you remained faithful even though it meant terrible suffering… So do not throw away this confident trust in the Lord. Remember the great reward it brings you!  Patient endurance is what you need now so that you will continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all that he has promised.

“For in just a little while,
the Coming One will come and not delay.

And my righteous ones will live by faith.
But I will take no pleasure in anyone who turns away.”. Hebrews 10:32, 35-38 referencing Habakkuk 2:3-4

Think of your favorite people.  I’m guessing that each of them has been through tough times.  How do I know this?  Because an easy life doesn’t produce strong, caring people.  None of us want suffering or enjoy hardships.  Yet they mold us into better people.  I’m certainly not advocating masochism here.  We rightfully hate suffering, but we can still be happy while suffering because the rewards of trusting God are great.  

“The world despises suffering, but joy finds in these broken places a happy home.  No situation is so bleak that it cannot be reached by joy. . . Jesus’ cross is the union of joy and suffering.  Our sinful nature believes that in order to be joyful we must get rid of suffering, but this is a lie.  The truth is that joy exists precisely in the acceptance of the suffering we strive so strenuously to avoid.”  Mike Mason in “Champagne for the Soul”

Just to be clear.  There is a big difference between acceptance and fatalism.  Acceptance of trials is believing that our loving Father is arranging things for our good.  Fatalism is believing that nothing we do can alter the outcome.  But, in fact, the Scriptures make it clear that our attitude is the deciding factor in the outcome.  We have the choice to trust and move thru the difficulty or to complain and resist.  We can accuse God of not giving us what we need and want.  Or we can gratefully look for his hand of provision around every corner.

“…they wouldn’t believe his promise to care for them.
Instead, they grumbled in their tents
and refused to obey the Lord… (describing the people in the desert)
Save us, O Lord our God! . . . So we can thank your holy name and rejoice and praise you.”  Psalm 106:23-24, 47

Eve thought God was withholding something from her, so she grabbed the forbidden fruit.  The nation of Israel after their deliverance from tyranny in Egypt, complained about what they didn’t have in the desert and insulted God.  King David lusted after another man’s wife and stole her.  Judas betrayed the Lord because he was disappointed that Jesus wasn’t planning to be an earthly king.  Discontent with our situation breeds sin.  Accepting our circumstances because we’re trusting the Lord brings happiness. 

“… for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have.  I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little.  For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.”  Philippians 4:11-13