Why does last Thanksgiving feel like it happened 5 years ago?  Maybe because our lives have turned upside down since last Thanksgiving!  Nothing is the same as last year.  Then: we had a newly redecorated house, an established routine, knew where we fit and what to do, many long-term, close friends, but far from family.  Now: living in an RV trailer, every day for my husband is a struggle to figure out the next step in building a house, wondering where we fit and what we should be contributing, some new, but already dear friends, and close to some of our family.

Last year we had the thrill of seeing 14 international students at our improvised long table chatting among themselves in their native tongue and loving on us alternately.  What joy when each arrived with happy anticipation on their faces and a dish of food in their hands!  Who knew how tasty it could be to have Chinese food, chili, a sweet rice dessert and traditional American Thanksgiving food all together?

Our hearts swelled with joy as the kitchen swelled with guests all helping to produce the meal.  Willing hearts and hands.  Laughter.  Working together.  Words I couldn’t understand.  Laughter.  Someone speaks to me in Chinese.  I’m so happy that for one minute I was considered one of them.  Why is Chinese so hard to learn?!  Laughter.  Messy kitchen.  Camaraderie.  Bittersweet.  Our last holiday together.

This Thanksgiving one daughter will be recuperating from surgery, two other daughters are three hours drive away over snowy mountains.  A son has made holiday traditions during our 10-year absence that we don’t want to interfere with.  Another son is moving back to our area preparing for marriage with a wonderful lady we are just getting to know.  Yet another daughter is thousands of miles away.  We’re wondering what our part is in all of this.  But one thing we know.  We’re here where we’re supposed to be and God will guide us through the tricky process of finding our place, our job, our new joys.

Maybe these questions will help you navigate your Thanksgiving celebration whether you’re in a settled tradition of celebration or this year is uncertain.  Giving thoughtful consideration to these questions may help you uncover what matters most to you and how to get from here to there.

What do I treasure most about last Thanksgiving?

When I remember last Thanksgiving, what warm feelings come up?  What tense feelings?  Do other family members remember the same feelings?

What can I do to set the stage for getting those treasured warm feelings this year?

What was a problem or burden last year?  What could I do to avoid that this year?

How much time, money and effort do I have to invest?

Am I willing to let others contribute?  (When guests invest in the meal they are buying into the celebration and feel part of the festivities.)

How could I encourage guests to participate after their arrival at my house?

How much chaos can I tolerate in my kitchen?

How can I keep memories of this Thanksgiving?  Assign someone to take candid photos? Get professional family portraits done?  Have guests write something? Video?

What helped my guests interact with each other?

How can I encourage storytelling and sharing?  Have questions hidden under chairs?  (Many families go around the table and share what they’re thankful for.) Who can moderate this sharing session?  How can I encourage quiet guests to share?  Encourage children to share?  Stories about how God helped our family will strengthen and encourage faith.

What can young guests do?  Elderly guests?  Everyone wants to feel needed.

Have I asked about food allergies?  Dietary restrictions?

What can I do ahead?  Do I have freezer room?  Fridge room?  What can I clean out now to make room for Thanksgiving preps?Plan the table including enough plates, serving pieces, and chairs, also napkins/runner/placemats, centerpiece.  Check out this simple, yet lovely,

Plan the table including enough plates, serving pieces, and chairs, also napkins/runner/placemats, centerpiece.  Check out this simple, yet lovely, Thanksgiving table.

Plan the menu including who brings what, what can be cooked ahead.  Google holiday/party meal prep for great checklists.

If my circumstances prevent hosting, what can I do to contribute to someone’s Thanksgiving being happy?

Remind myself this is more than a meal!

“And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength.  And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today.  Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up.”  Moses’ instruction in Deuteronomy 6:5-7

 “For when you have become full and prosperous and have built fine homes to live in, and when your flocks and herds have become very large and your silver and gold have multiplied along with everything else, be careful!  Do not become proud at that time and forget the Lord your God, who rescued you.”  Moses in Deuteronomy 8:12-14