I first noticed her when I was nine and she was only six years old.  I was friends with her older brother, and we attended the same synagogue. While the other little girls fidgeted and giggled during service, she paid attention when one of the men read from the sacred Scriptures. When the rabbi taught, she listened. She could already sing some of the Psalms by heart, too.  How could such a little girl be so serious?

When I was twelve, I noticed her older sister was pretty, but she liked to get attention from the boys. Just not my type. At nine, the younger sister was in an awkward stage, but not as awkward as I was! She was always kind to her younger siblings. She’ll make a good mother someday, I thought.

One day, when I was sixteen, I saw her carrying a heavy water jar home. Now thirteen, she wasn’t that awkward little girl but was changing into a gracious young woman. I was so nervous to speak to her that I couldn’t find the words to ask her if I could help her. I just motioned, and she put the heavy jar down and let me carry it to her home. When we entered her house, I was impressed with the respectful way she talked to her father, who was eyeing me carefully as I put the jar down in the corner. I greeted him politely, then made a quick exit.

When I was eighteen, I was still shy and quiet. Some of my friends were talking about getting married. It was then that I noticed one of my friends watching her. She was a sweet, young woman whom I could only admire from afar. But my friend was bold and walked right up and talked to her. I watched in torment while kicking myself for not being brave like him. Just then, her eyes met mine. Could she read my feelings toward her?! She was polite to my friend, but quickly excused herself and left. My heart was pounding. Could I ever approach her and actually talk to her? Would she even respond favorably?

The following year, my nineteenth and her sixteenth, the carpenter I had been apprenticed to for three years told me to deliver the bench I had just built to a certain family across town. What? Had I been working on furniture for her family without knowing it? My mind raced. I hadn’t been to her house for three years. Her father hadn’t been overly friendly at that time. Would he feel any differently about me now? Would she even be at home when I got there? Could I muster the courage to talk to her? Right in front of her family? My boss had an amused expression on his face. Did I know, he asked, that the father of the household had requested that I be the one to make the bench and deliver it? What could this mean, I wondered?

Gathering what shreds of bravery I possessed, I hoisted the bench onto my shoulder and resolutely headed for her house. “Please, God, if this is from you, give me favor with her and her family. I humbly submit to whatever your will is.” This prayer cleared my mind. I had peace, and I was ready for whatever God was doing.  As I approached her house, one of her little brothers ran up to me.
“We’ve all been waiting! Come on!”
I wasn’t certain that he meant they’d been waiting for the bench or for me. Well, here goes.

Sure enough, her father greeted me at the door and told me where to set the bench down – across from his chair. Then he invited me to sit on it! She came shyly out from the kitchen with a cup of cold water. Her cheeks were flushed and I wondered if that was from the heat of the kitchen or from excitement. She gracefully handed the cup to me. Her eyes were gentle and kind, as if she knew how uncomfortable I was. I wanted to take her hand, but that would be too brash. I thanked her kindly and watched her retreat to the kitchen. I felt her father’s eyes on me, but this time not with coldness. When I turned to speak to him, he had a smile on his face. What, he wanted to know, were my plans for the future?  When would I complete my apprenticeship?

Suddenly, I realized I was a man who was ready to make a commitment. I explained that I would finish my apprenticeship in a year and that I hoped to marry at that time. His eyebrows raised just a tad as he nodded. And whom did I have in mind for a bride? My throat tightened, but I admitted that my only desire since I was young was to marry his daughter. I felt her beside me. What would she say? I turned to see her beaming, and I reached for her hand, strong from helping her mother with a big family. The betrothal contract was ready, and we happily signed it.

I left her house several hours later, a man with a mission. I would prepare our house with all diligence and speed. I spent happy evenings with her family. We sometimes sat outside the back door on my bench talking about the wedding, our house, and having children.

Then one night she seemed different. She told me that she must leave the next morning for a long trip to visit an old relative. I was surprised and couldn’t understand the rush to leave when our wedding was getting close. She seemed vague and unable to explain it, but was sure it was the right thing.  Oh, how I missed her!  The weeks stretched into months. Word came that she was staying till the birth of her relative’s baby. What? I thought she was visiting an old relative?! None of it made sense. I just wanted her back. My apprenticeship was finished, as was our house, and I was finished being a bachelor. When would she come back?!

Finally, she returned, but our reunion wasn’t what I’d been envisioning. Her eyes were serious, searching my face for something. I didn’t know what was different, but there was something between us. She seemed more mature, more womanly. What had changed? Had she changed her mind about me? Then tears welled up in the corners of her eyes. She had something to tell me, she said. I braced myself; it couldn’t be good news. She had seen an angel, she said, two days before she left. I was shocked. I knew she loved God and his holy Scriptures and she wouldn’t pretend about such a thing as seeing an angel.

But it was the news the angel gave her that shook me to the core of my being. Pregnant?! My pure, righteous wife-to-be?! It couldn’t be! How could an angel tell her she would be pregnant? It was too much to grasp. All I knew was that my precious soon-to-be wife was now in disgrace with an unlawful pregnancy. I knew what the Law said, but no matter what she had done, I couldn’t bear for her to be humiliated publicly. As usual, I’ll just quietly do the right thing. I’ll divorce her without making accusations. I’ll just say it didn’t work out. She’ll go back to her relative’s house and have her illegitimate baby, and I’ll never see her again.

Mine wasn’t the only broken heart that night. When I quickly turned to leave, I saw the hurt written all over her. She was hoping for understanding, but I hadn’t given it. How could I? None of it made sense. Her old relative’s husband saw an angel vision? Then the old woman got pregnant after being childless her whole life? Their baby is going to prepare for the Lord? She herself had an angel vision? Her baby would take David’s throne?  She was blaming God for her being pregnant? Everyone knows that old women and young virgins don’t get pregnant. It’s impossible. And angels coming to ordinary people?  Angels surely did come to our patriarch, Abraham, to mighty Moses, to great King David, and to the revered prophets.  But not to an old, worn out man or a young village girl!

I went home to what was supposed to be our home and lay down on what was supposed to be our bed. Tossing and turning, I struggled with myself, with her, and with God. How could God let this happen? How could she let this happen? What should I do?  Drifting off into a fitful sleep, I thought I saw an angel. How could it be? I’m a simple man in a small town, too young to even be a leader in our little synagogue. Why would God send an angel to me? But if one is coming to me, maybe she did see an angel! What is happening?!

“Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be pregnant through the Holy Spirit.  Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.
But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit.  She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.”
All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet:  “The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel” (which means “God with us”). Isaiah 7:14
When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife.  But he did not consummate their marriage until she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus.” Matthew 1:18-25