It’s Thursday morning and you’re waiting at your gate to board an airplane for a transcontinental flight home to your loved ones. You see two men you assume to be pilots walking together toward your gate with their rolling carry-on luggage. One looks haggard, bags under his squinting eyes, and overdue for a haircut. His suit is wrinkled and his shoes are dusty. He walks with a slouching, slow gait and a sad, far-off expression. The other pilot looks alert, fresh, and well-groomed. He walks with a smooth, confident gait and has a pleasant expression as he tries to engage the first pilot in conversation. Which one are you hoping is going to pilot your aircraft?!
We can guess that one pilot made choices the night before (and probably many nights before) based on serving those he will be responsible for flying safely to their destination. We can surmise that he went to bed on time instead of watching one more news program. Likely he ate a healthy meal instead of fattening comfort food and dessert. He passed on an alcoholic drink and opted for sparkling water instead. Maybe he took some time to exercise instead of watching a show then called his wife instead of hanging out at the hotel bar last night. For the sake of performing his duty, he made certain choices. Who benefits from his choices? Clearly both his passengers and him!

We have no less responsibility. Every small decision throughout the day should be made by considering those we’re responsible for. They are important enough to sacrifice for. Of course, this is counter-cultural in an era where we’re bombarded with messages to put our own interests first. The above example is a good one for self-care. Did the pilot engage in self-care? Yes, but what was the motivation for that care? To get women to look at him? Or to fulfill his duties in the best possible way? Did he benefit? Yes, in many ways. The same is true of us when we take caring for others so seriously that we put aside our own desires. They benefit, but so do we. It turns out that following our own selfish inclinations doesn’t actually make us happy or better.

Take parenting, for example. It’s a crash course in learning to think of someone else first. What does my child need? How will what I’m doing impact him? It means we are willing to do the lowest job to help our children (or grandchildren). We aren’t too special to serve them in any way that’s needed. Sometimes serving our family is listening and building up. Sometimes serving is doing menial chores like making a meal or babysitting. Caring for others calls for humility. But every one of us has a pride problem. We think about how to get our needs met before we consider how to meet others’ needs.

Recently dear Husband and I met a new acquaintance. The person was attractive, well-spoken, and wealthy. Nothing wrong with any of those! At first, we were charmed. But after an hour and a half, the monologue came to a close and the person asked how to pronounce my name on the way to the car. Some people crave attention so much that they get it by talking about themselves without giving others equal time.
This experience was an eye-opener for me. How many times have I monopolized the conversation? How many times have I found it easier to talk about myself than make the effort to truly get to know another person? Do I bother to get past the superficial and allow the other person to reveal their heart? Do I validate them by encouraging them to share their experiences, their accomplishments, and their struggles?
And further, how am I spending my time? Am I using most of my time to care for myself and get what I want? Or am I using my time to make sure others have what they need?
How am I spending my money? Am I concentrating on getting enough money to buy what I want? Or am I happy to share my money so others can have what they need?
This experience reminded me that pride is competitive, but humility unites. By serving and showing concern for others we express the love which binds us together. Pride pits us against each other.
Every one of us falls into the trap of overestimating our importance. We easily forget that no matter how gifted we are, it isn’t for our own advantage but to serve others. Yes, we have been given abilities and we’ve worked hard to hone them. But the end game isn’t for us to be noticed, and feel important. Our abilities are to be used for the good of others. Yes, we will be rewarded when we use our giftings for others. And one of those rewards is happiness. Giving brings happiness. . .  far more than we could grab for ourselves.
One anecdote for pride is to notice the giftings/service of others. It puts our own gifting/service in the context of the bigger community. Lest we get puffed up and feel important, we should be alert to how others are contributing. Guaranteed we’re not the only ones serving! Others are doing selfless work which complements the work we’re doing. Each servant contributes differently and together needs are met. No one is sufficient alone, but by humbly working together life-changing things happen.
Recap in no particular order:
No matter how gifted we are, it isn’t for our own advantage but to serve others.
Pride pits us against each other. Humility unites.
Serving others makes us happy. (Whether or not they appreciate it.)
Notice and appreciate the service of others.
Consider the needs of others even in small decisions.

“Don’t be self-seeking or proud. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking out for your own interests but each of you looking out for others.
In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:
Who, . . . did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;
rather, he made himself nothing
by taking the very nature/character of a servant”. Philippians 2:3-7

Daily decisions that are informed by the needs of your family:
Bedtime
Meals
Laundry
Conversation time
Cleaning
Praying
Spending money
Working
Recreation
Hmmm, right off hand I’d say that every decision throughout the day should be made by considering those we’re responsible for!