The self-possessed, nicely dressed, serious older gentleman beside me rose and was handed the microphone.  What came out of his mouth arrested the attention of all present.  

“I’m Art S.  On a Monday morning in the third grade my friend, Jeanie, said to me, ‘Art, you’re going to hell.’  Wow.  That was a hard way to start a Monday morning.  I said, ‘Oh?  Why is that?’  And she said, ‘Because you don’t love Jesus.’  I never forgot that.  It took 52 years, but I finally came to love Jesus, too.”

The audience had become very quiet at the mention of the delicate subject of one’s eternal destination, and Jeanie blushed, sinking in her seat.  But then there were relieved chuckles and finally happy applause.  This happened at a memorial service two days ago where we were celebrating the earthly life and now eternal life of Husband’s next door neighbor growing up.  She had lived 91 years and with her husband had raised six children, one of whom was Jeanie, the bearer of hard truth.  All six love Jesus and are eager for others to love him, too.  It was the happiest funeral I’d ever been to.

During the memorial service, two of her sons shared honestly about struggles they had had in life, but eventually had come back to faith and had found peace and happiness.  One of the sons shared that a certain song was playing on his car radio during a low point in his life.  The song hit him so hard that he had to pull off the road till the tears subsided.  It was the beginning of his journey back to faith.  He said he wished he had returned right then instead of waiting.  Then he sang the country and Western song, “Jesus and Mama”.  “Jesus and Mama always loved me” was the chorus.  It was a tribute to his loving mother who didn’t give up on her wayward son.  After he had lost his marriage, his job, and his health he was reduced to living in his parent’s basement.  He remembers his mother’s “bony finger” directed at him with the words, “Just quit fighting.”  Was this unkind?  Again, we cringe at this directness in our present culture.  But her intent was to help him.  And he did listen, altho it took a little more time before he stopped resisting the Lord’s invitation to return.   

So let’s tackle this ticklish issue of saying the hard thing.  “You’re going to hell.”  Every one of us cringes at this statement.  It sounds so unloving.  Harsh.  Judgmental.  But before we judge that 3^rd grader, let’s look at the circumstances.  These words were spoken between two friends.  There was a good relationship already established.  As far as I can tell, the statement came from a genuine concern for Art’s well being.  Jeannie cared about Art.  She didn’t want him to go to hell.  There was kind intention on her part. Although taken aback, Art was the kind of person who was willing to dialogue.  He bravely and politely inquired as to why Jeannie felt he was going to hell.  Had he been of lesser character, he would have taken offense and cut off communication.  And who would’ve blamed him?   He was a member of an oppressed minority.  His family had been removed from their well-kept farm for the sole crime of being Japanese and were placed in an internment camp for the duration of WWII while their farm fell into disrepair.  This conversation took place about 8 years after the war, so the memory was still fresh. 

The two foundational ingredients for communication were present- the truth was given with good intention and the hearer was willing to listen.  Let me also add that the two children were part of a culture that was different from ours.  Truth was valued more than political correctness.  In those days it was the norm to have civil conversations about polarizing topics.  I can remember having serious theological conversations with my school friends who were of different religions than me.  We were close friends and we didn’t love each other less because we disagreed.  

This reminds me of a conversation Jesus had with a man who wanted to know the truth, but was caught up in mindset that had blinded him.  Jesus was very direct with the man, jumping into the deep end immediately because he knew the man sincerely wanted to know truth.  What Jesus told him are now some the best known of Christian teachings.

There was a man named Nicodemus, a Jewish religious leader …  After dark one evening, he came to speak with Jesus. “Rabbi,” he said, “we all know that God has sent you to teach us. Your miraculous signs are evidence that God is with you.”

Jesus replied, “I tell you the truth, unless you are born again, you cannot see the Kingdom of God.” 

“What do you mean?” exclaimed Nicodemus. “How can an old man go back into his mother’s womb and be born again?”

Jesus replied, “I assure you, no one can enter the Kingdom of God without being born of water and the Spirit. Humans can reproduce only human life, but the Holy Spirit gives birth to spiritual life. So don’t be surprised when I say, ‘You must be born again.’  

“How are these things possible?” Nicodemus asked.

  Jesus replied, “You are a respected Jewish teacher, and yet you don’t understand these things?  I assure you, we tell you what we know and have seen, and yet you won’t believe our testimony.  No one has ever gone to heaven and returned. But the Son of Man has come down from heaven.  And as Moses lifted up the bronze snake on a pole in the wilderness, so the Son of Man must be lifted up,  so that everyone who believes in him will have eternal life.

 “For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.  God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him.”  Jesus in John 3:1-19

We know that Nicodemus took Jesus’ words to heart, because later we read that he stood up for Jesus against his colleagues :

“Is there a single one of us rulers or Pharisees who believes in him?  This foolish crowd follows him, but they are ignorant of the law. God’s curse is on them!”
 Then Nicodemus, the leader who had met with Jesus earlier, spoke up.  “Is it legal to convict a man before he is given a hearing?” he asked.” John 7:50-52

Even after Jesus was killed, when there was no possibility of gain from doing it, he brought expensive spices so Jesus would have an honorable burial.  The truth had been received and it had gone deep.

“Afterward Joseph of Arimathea, who had been a secret disciple of Jesus (because he feared the Jewish leaders), asked Pilate for permission to take down Jesus’ body. When Pilate gave permission, Joseph came and took the body away.  With him came Nicodemus, the man who had come to Jesus at night. He brought about seventy-five pounds of perfumed ointment made from myrrh and aloes.  Following Jewish burial custom, they wrapped Jesus’ body with the spices in long sheets of linen cloth.”  John 19:39

Don’t get me wrong.  I’m not advocating meaness.  I’m only saying that if we love a person, we will tell them the truth with all our love.